Tagged

I have been tagged by Tena at Gleaming Goat. (I guess I should ask about that Blog title.)

Rules for tagging:

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.

4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 Facts about me.
1. I graduated from high school in 1977 - right in the middle of some of the best rock and roll years EVER!

2. I met my husband online in 1994. He wasn't the first guy I had dated after meeting them online - in fact, I met someone as far back as 1987! (Yup, I'm old and that was pre-internet as you know it.) My brother decided that I needed to be aware of this cool thing (online chatting), so he hooked me up and got me started. I began with a 1200 baud modem. I started just as the world was transitioning from 300 baud to 1200 baud. Pretty speedy, eh?

3. My grandmother (mom's mom) rejected 3 full scholarships to Harvard University for us three kids. She thought that her friends (he was the treasurer of Harvard) were offering charity. They probably were. However, I wouldn't be the woman I am now if she had said yes. God knows what He is doing.

4. I can't watch horror/slasher movies. Even the silly, black and white "Night of the Living Dead" from 1968 makes me cry in terror.

5. I once stood six hours in line for Kenny Rogers tickets. Oh ... I need to hide my head in shame for that.

6. I have a desire to visit the Presidential Libraries. I've been to three (Hoover, Truman, Eisenhower). That made me want to see more. Max has taught me to utterly love history.

7. I don't read, I consume books. However, the Bible is the only book that I am absolutely passionate about. I will learn Greek and Hebrew, study hermeneutics and exegesis so that I can help others to love and understand the amazing depths of God's Word.

I don't have 7 people to tag (some of my friends really need to be blogging - hint hint!!!), but I will get:

Tracy
Jim
Cayla
Cody

Distractions

I find myself easily distracted. I really am trying to focus on writing. I have a lot to work on. But, my mind keeps flying off on tangents that make no sense to me, and pretty soon I find myself clipping my fingernails, cleaning bits of paper off my desk, adjusting my glasses, reading related, but not really, websites or even just losing myself in fuzzy thoughts.

I was feeling so productive at 3:00 this morning. And now ... my brain is mush. I know. I know. Go to sleep earlier. Ain't gonna happen.

Focus, Diane, Focus!

Diane is in big trouble

Well, I put the fear of God into some of my best friend's hearts this morning. It's certainly nice to know you are loved, but it's not fair ... what I did. Fully unintentional.

I'm upstairs - haven't been up all that long. I went to bed last night at 5:00 am (I got a LOT of writing done!), so I turned my phone off. I woke up about 11:20 - 11:30, still wasn't enough sleep, but, oh well. I came upstairs and began sorting through the stuff on my computer. At noon, I heard the back door slam and then heard Max coming through the house. He got to the steps and called my name, "Diane?" "Yes?"

And then he came flying up the steps, stood in the door panting, trying to tell me something - that I was supposed to have been at lunch and when I didn't show up, Julie and Jen worried. Jen tried to call me and then Max tried to call me (of course I heard nothing - remember? the phone is on silent). Everyone was moving this way to ensure I was still alive.

Poor Max. He stood in the doorway of the study as I called Jen to apologize and assure her that I was fine. I actually had emailed Julie in the middle of the night to tell her I was bailing on lunch, but she's afraid it went to her junk mail box. I thought I had ... well, I hadn't. (ok, I did email, but I obviously hadn't taken care of this as well as I should have!)

After the call, I had to hold my poor husband! He began to cry! And then he began to express his fears over losing me and what had happened in his mind. I had to hold the poor man while he regained his sanity.

Here's the deal ... if I'm not where I'm supposed to be and I'm not answering the phone - email me or Facebook me. Within 5 minutes one of those will get to me. When I turned the phone to silent last night, I just KNEW I was going to forget to turn the sound back on when I woke up. I did ... I forgot.

But, mostly ... I'm so sorry! I don't mean to put my friends into a panic. I certainly don't mean to ever scare the life out of my poor husband.

I did have to giggle at him a little ... in his stammering, in a panic vocalizing at me, as he tried to tell me how important I was to him ... he told me I was his only wife. I'm glad about that.

He did realize what he'd said and that it made no sense and was able then to tell me that I was his life. For that, I just needed to hold on and let him know that I was ok and he would be.

Diane failed at the girl thing.

I thought I would try ... but ... life doesn't always allow for deep thoughts and profound moments.

Right now I'm laughing at myself.

I ordered a new purse last week from Amazon. (It's a Girl Thing. Or a Diane Thing) I've been really excited about it and could hardly wait for it to show up. I was upstairs when my UPS driver showed up at my back door with the box. I gathered up a bunch of stuff that I wanted to take downstairs, let the dog out and brought the box inside.

The box was a bit smaller than I expected, but, it's a canvas bag ... that's fine. I opened it, pulled off the packing material. Hmmm ... this is smaller than I expected, but maybe it's folded in half.

Ummm ... no.

Really! It's cute. (I'm not a 'cute' person).



I removed the stupid coin purse on the front of the purse. But I truly thought that it was a bit bigger than this. This is the picture I based my purchase on. For heaven's sake, is this a mannequin of an 8 year old girl with boobs? Puhleeze!



I've decided to enjoy the purse. It is big enough to hold my wallet, phone, keys AND my Kindle. And really, that's all I need. If anyone tells me this is 'cute,' I might hurl on them. And poor Max will have to suffer through the fact that this is still not the perfect bag.

Wow ... doggone it, I'm going to have keep shopping! And for me ... that's a happy thing.

Pooped Out

Yes, I'm still awake - but I won't be after I send the Pour Out a Blessing blogpost off (midnight). I had a wonderful day, but it wore me out! That's what happens when 1) you have no more stress in your life and 2) you have no more stress in your life. When stress comes, it wears your butt out!

Today was good stress. SingOmaha (singomaha.com) had fall concerts today. Mid-afternoon concert for Sono Via (K-6) with Harmonia (9-12 girls) and evening concert with Harmonia and Canticum (adult choir). I played for all groups and thought I'm never terribly worried about things, I always build a sense of fear and anticipation into myself. It makes me concentrate.

The concerts were fabulous and if you weren't there, you really missed something. I'm just saying. Mark your calendar for the Christmas concert - December 7th. It will also be held at Faith-Westwood.

After the evening concert, my family hooked up at Famous Dave's. We are an absolute riot! I can not imagine having more fun with any other group of people. The kids are old enough to totally participate in the action. We run at 'no holds barred.' Ok, I take that back. It's always very loving and always respectful. I'm glad that we have this going on in our lives. The safest place to be is with people that you totally trust and let me tell you, if you can trust your family - they know EVERYTHING about you.

I was very excited that Matt (my nephew) was able to join SingOmaha this fall. It's been wonderful having him go to rehearsal with me every week. He had a great experience at the concert this evening and it was awesome that his whole family could be there too. He even got a chance to see his girlfriend.

So ... it's only 11:45. I have another 15 minutes before the pumpkin returns to take me to Neverland (yup, mixed my movies there ... deal).

Maybe I'll be a little more pithy tomorrow.

Watched some movies today

While Max was watching football, I popped a few movies in and watched them.

"The Bucket List." Just finished it. I'm still thinking about it. I've been putting a lot of thought into the reality of getting old. not so much on dying, but that's right up there. Do I have a bucket list? No. I've never done that. I guess I'm too pragmatic. If there is something I really want to do, I'll find a way to do it. If it's not possible, then, I guess I don't need to be attempting it.

The trip to the Grand Canyon takes care of something I've wanted to do for a very long time. The other sight I want to see someday is the Northern Lights (wow ... that's a sentence that needs some help). I'll get there. And I really am looking forward to that.

"Freedom Writers." A true story. Just about the time that I believe we are in a basket that is headed straight for hell, I see a story like this and am encouraged. I'm angered by the fact that more people see things as Margaret Campbell does rather than as Erin Gruwell. Wars happen on our streets and throughout the world. Will this change anything? Not on a global scale. Maybe not even on the scale of a small city like Omaha ... but, teachers that reach into the hearts of their students are pretty incredible..

I began my movie watching today with "Cloverfield." Interesting movie. Interesting concept. I liked it. I can't believe I did. My expectations were pretty low for this movie. I was startled when the head of the Statue of Liberty rolled onto the street. I giggled with the sound of the 'monster.' Are you kidding me? That's the sound you chose to represent that hideous thing? But, it was entertaining.

So ... now it's 7:30 pm. Max is off at a friends house doing something. Darkness has fallen across the city and it's actually pretty quiet out there. I spent a lot of the day converting books so that I can read them on my Kindle. (because I can't just watch a movie - I have to be doing something else at the same time.) I got the placemarkers for the trip onto the GPS. Hmmm ... now what?

Travelogue ... Part Three

I'm obsessed with this trip. I had to take time off from it today to get some writing done for the Pour Out a Blessing blog. But, while I was trying to recuperate from the writing episodes, I designed 2 trips to the East Coast, each of which could take about the same amount of time and would be great fun. I showed them to Max when he got home and he just shook his head.

I must give off the impression that I am an impulsive sort, given to flights of fancy or something like that. My friends don't know how freakin' anal I can be - given the right set of circumstances. This trip has brought out all of my father's trip organizing skills (he was a madman at this stuff). I have a highly detailed list with every item we are going to need - typed out in an organized structure. It's so detailed that there are lines in front of each item so that I can check them off as they enter the container they will travel in. There is another section with the containers that will be checked off as those enter the vehicle.

I do have a sketch of how these containers will go into the Jeep, so that things will be accessible when and where we need them.

There is a full-blown itinerary, complete with hotel information and probable stops along the route. I have been creating my map of the trip in Google maps and have place markers for all of the sights we might want to see along the trip, as well as place markers for each of the hotels. I have a folder sitting beside me on the desk with printouts of hotel confirmations, etc. The Google map will not only be logged into the Garmin GPS, but will be printed out and placed in the travel folder.

I've made reservations at hotels for the entire trip except the last two nights. Max and I still aren't sure whether we're heading home via I-76 to I-80 out of Denver, or whether we'll head up I-25 to Cheyenne.

The first part of the trip is going to be insane. Lots of sightseeing along Route 66. The Grand Canyon will be the turning point. After that we are heading to Monticello, UT and will spend three nights there. We'll roam the area - I actually have no place markers for these three days. Everything will slow down, we will relax and Max will have plenty of time to shoot photographs. These are the days I'm most looking forward to. The insanity of travel will be complete and we'll get a chance to experience the wonder and majesty of God's creation.

A friend asked if I would post a travel blog with photos. Yup ... I think that every hotel we will be staying in has internet access (can you imagine I would choose anything else? Well, I almost did.). I suspect we will experience everything from the sublime to the ridiculous.

I can't wait.

It's a Girl Thing. Or a Diane Thing.

My husband thinks I'm obsessed with bags (purses). He might be right. I am 10 days away from leaving for a vacation and I've decided that I need a purse.

So. It's 2:00 am and I'm at my computer looking through Amazon.com's handbags. At this point, I've scanned over 1200 bags. I have to find just the right one. I've decided that my requirements are insane. I can't find anything.

I don't want a purse shaped like an armadillo (yup, saw it), or a glass of beer (I'm not kidding) or even a Genie's lamp. I'm not that hard to please. Or am I?

Here are my requirements in the middle of the night.

1. Amazon Prime. That means free shipping and it also means that I can have it here by Monday - guaranteed. That's important.
2. Less than $50.00. I'm not interested in doing a 'quick shop' for the purse of my dreams. If I'm going to spend more than $50 for a purse, I want to spend some time dreaming about it (yup, obsessed. Don't harass me.).
3. Lightweight, contemporary looking (no old lady purses for this old lady)
4. Can carry a bunch of stuff. (shut up!)

I know what I want. But, when I find it, it either costs $595.00 or it will take an extra 4 days to process. Hello!!! I'm an internet shopper. I do not have time to wait for you all.

Here's the deal. I'm pretty sure I will find exactly what I want in 3 weeks. I'll click on Amazon.com and they will have it on my front page as a recommendation.

Sigh ... oh well. I think I found something I can tolerate. It's only $19.99 with free shipping. It will be here Monday (oops, maybe Tuesday). I managed to get through another 300 purses before closing this post. Alright, already. I'm obsessed.

Travelogue - An update

HAH. I finally gave up. We are not staying in Elk City, Oklahoma. We'll stay in El Reno, OK, just outside of Oklahoma City.

But, I did get the reservations made for the Blue Swallow in Tucumcari, NM and the Wigwam in Holbrook, AZ. Those were Max's two requests. Historic Route 66 hotels. Each of the rooms at the Wigwam are shaped as a ... you guessed it ... wigwam. We'll be there for Max's birthday.

I thought I was being clever and found this beautiful lodge near the Grand Canyon. Not terribly priced, but guaranteed beauty. Ummm ... as I placed it on my map (I have place markers on Google Maps for everything we want to see and do), I discovered that it will require a 3 hour trip to get there and another 3 hour trip to get back on the road. Doggone ...

My brother thinks I should just hit the road and hope for the best with hotels. The worst we could do is sleep in the car. Thank you very much, Jim ... ummm ... no.

We're really looking forward to this. The first 5 days will be complete tourist crap. Traveling Route 66 and seeing all of the sites we can possibly see. Things like the blue whale and the world's largest totem pole. Then, there's the world's largest McDonald's and Cadillac Ranch (yup, old cadillacs - buried in the ground). Should be an absolute riot!

The last half of the trip will be nature exploration. While I will enjoy the Route 66 fun, I'm really looking forward to this part of the trip. I can't wait to see Canyonlands and the Arches, Castle Valley and Monument Valley. I have to say that I saw the Grand Canyon, and I'm certain that it will be glorious ... but the further away I can get from tourists, the better.

Now ... if we can just get my Google Map placemarkers onto our Garmin GPS ... we'll be set! Max????

Travelogue ... a beginning?

I decided that today was the day to begin making reservations for hotels for our vacation.

We have planned to head south and pick up Historic Route 66 in Joplin, Missouri and drive as much of that as possible to Arizona.

So ... with my Skype headset on and the internet at my fingertips, along with some planning that I had put in several weeks ago, I began making phone calls to hotels.

You probably need to know that this vacation is an adventure for both Max and myself. We aren't intending to spend a lot of money on the hotels, in fact, we prefer the strip hotels that you see in small towns. We are also not the type of people that spend much time in a hotel, so why spend money for much more than a clean bed, right? Right.

First off: The Slumber Inn in Harrisonville, Missouri. I called. A young man answered. Obviously English is not his first language, but he was helpful, polite and I managed to make a reservation for Friday night. Cool. This is a good start.

Second night: I hope to stay in Elk City, Oklahoma. I don't want to stay in Oklahoma City, this doesn't get us far enough along the road, so ... let's see what options I have.

I had originally settled on a Ramada. It's not a great looking hotel, prices are reasonable and they take pets. Can I book this online? Hmmm, there are no rooms available. Weird. Ok. Keep looking. The Flamingo Hotel - right on Historic Route 66. A couple of reviews like it, but the latest wasn't too promising. I called Max. He agreed. It's more adventurous to try something a little weird. Go for it.

I called the hotel. A voice mail system with a decidedly southern drawl. Interesting. Press '0' for the operator. I pressed '0'. Nothing. The system returned after a few minutes. Press '0' for the operator. I pressed '0'. Nothing. I began to giggle. The system returned again. Press '0' for the operator. I pressed '0' and waited. Still giggling. A young woman came on the line and again, spoke very little English. I told her I wanted to make a reservation. She offered me a room with one bed. I told her I wanted two beds. She explained that I would have to take non-smoking, they were beginning to fill up. I explained to HER that I didn't want this room until October 18. She laughed. I hung up. That scared me a little more than I can explain.

I searched and searched. I can stay at the Holiday Inn for $115.00 - $140.00. Other hotels start at $95.00. In Elk City, Oklahoma? Really? We can do better than this.

So, off again to the internet. Hmmm. Red Carpet Inn. Part of their website tells me that they take pets, the next part says 'no pets.' Ok, you know what? I'm just going to call. No answer. No answer at all. It rang and rang and rang and was still ringing as I began this blog. I finally decided to give up. I'm back to the internet.

Actually, I think I will make the next two night's reservations. Those are going to be at places that should be much more interesting. The Blue Swallow Inn in Tucumcari, NM and the WigWam in Holbrook, AZ. Those are the historic Route 66 hotels we WANT to stay in. Oh, please let this be less painful!

A thought spoken ...

The middle English definition of 'word' is 'a thought spoken.' How beautiful is that?

According to the Global Language Monitor, the English Language adds a new word every 98 minutes and in April of 2009, we will reach one million words.

Great article at the Smithsonian site on how lexicographers decide which words are really deserving of being in dictionaries and qualify as words that people use in their daily language.

I'm too normal?

Oh sheesh. It's finally come out. Mood disorders and high creativity are linked. That freakin' figures! I know some of you will be glad to tease me about the fact that I'm not actually normal, but I don't have huge mood swings (don't be asking Max about that) and I'm not depressive nor am I bipolar. But, I'll tell you what! I read many blogs by highly creative people and my goodness, but they ARE! Sigh ... I guess I'm going to have to be the normal one in the study, eh?

From THIS CNN story:

There have been more than 20 studies that suggest an increased rate of bipolar and depressive illnesses in highly creative people, says Kay Redfield Jamison, professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University and author of the "An Unquiet Mind," a memoir of living with bipolar disorder.

...Experts say mental illness does not necessarily cause creativity, nor does creativity necessarily contribute to mental illness, but a certain ruminating personality type may contribute to both mental health issues and art.

...They found that people with bipolar disorder scored better -- up to about 50 percent higher -- on creativity tests than the healthy control group. The creative control group had about the same increase in score relative to the healthy control group.

..."It's a little hard to argue that engaging in creative activity could create the temperament, and it may be a little bit more possible that this temperament gives you a creative advantage," he said.

Random. Again.

I've been sitting at my desk with the door open. Freezing! It's time to shut the door. I'm not ready to put the glass insert (instead of the screen door insert) in yet. I sat and suffered until I finally decided that I only needed so much shivering.

***
Leica is still downstairs. Ichabod has planted himself on a step towards the bottom and she is too afraid to run past him. I could intervene and rout him, but it's entertaining to me. (evil Diane)

***
I like how I take care of myself, even years down the road. See, I know that I'm a forgetful person, so sometimes I find a way to help my memory. Years ago I started crocheting an afghan, but didn't finish it (crochet the squares together, etc.) A couple of weeks ago, I decided this was the year to finish it. I had two more square to make and easily figured out the pattern I had used. Except, it wasn't right! I used the crochet hook that the yarn wrapper recommended. The square was too big. Blast. So, I set it aside.

I was going to toss out the bag that had stored this project and as I folded it up, I discovered there was another crochet hook buried in the bag. A ha! This must be the correct hook. See. I took care of myself years ago. Either that or I had just been too lazy to find the bag of needles to put the hook away properly.

***
My brother is writing again. I don't know how long this is going to last (hehe - sorry, Jim!). But, he's good! You need to read his stuff. Check him out at novelcoder.blogspot.com. I love to write fiction, but I love to read it even more and I'm enjoying his stuff.

***
I've been reading a lot of fiction lately and quite recently, I've been reading a lot of vampire fiction. As I thought about it, it occurs to me that the reason this stuff is so popular and the reason there is so much supernatural stuff happening on television is that we are looking for the world to be something 'more' than it is. We are tired of terrorism and the lousy, mundane world that we live in. We all want to be 'super' in some way or other and we want life to be so much more than working, eating and sleeping.

I have many opinions and thoughts about all of this. For instance, if life on earth were so fabulous, none of us would ever want to go to heaven. I mean, we fight death as it is! But, the fun stuff? That's where it's going to be! And ... this is one of the reasons for so much apocalyptic thinking that occurs. When things get bad, people begin assuming that God is going to return immediately! Now, I believe in the return of the Messiah, but I also believe that He is coming on His own terms.

When Jesus came the first time, the vast majority of the world had no idea that it was upon them. A very few read the signs correctly. Paul tells us in I Thessalonians that no one will know. Jesus even told us that only the Father knew when it would occur.

I enjoy the fiction for what it is ... fiction. It's fun to imagine, but imagination comes from our own creative minds. Never believe that our imagination can describe what God has planned.

Random Things

I notice everything. I freak people out when the random things begin flowing out of my mouth, so I generally just keep that mouth shut. This morning I announced to a friend of mine on IM that I chew on the left side and have to concentrate to chew on the right. I began noticing this when I was eating m&m's. My right side was not having the same amount of 'joy' that my left side was. So, I shared the m&m's with the other side of the mouth.

***
Leica (my dog) is a bit insane. I had no idea. It only happens when we're gone and I'm sure that it happens because we're gone. A few weeks ago, my landlord emailed me to let me know that our new neighbors were complaining about her incessant barking while we were gone. Are you kidding me with this? Alright, fine. So we put her into a middle bedroom as far away from windows and noise as possible, and with as much in between us and the neighbor (I live in a duplex) as could be possible.

One evening when we returned, I discovered a manilla envelope completely shredded on the floor. Hmmm, that's weird. But, I picked it up and tossed it out and didn't give it anymore thought. Last night I walked past the room and saw something strange on the floor. I looked closer and it was a shredded box! We have some boxes that we purchased to store vinyl albums. They are completely broken down, I haven't assembled all of them and these were standing against a dresser.

She had torn into one of them and was either gnawing it or pawing it apart in a fit of insanity.

I have no idea what this is all about, but I will definitely be locking her into that room (storage stuff) because I certainly don't need to have her destroying other things in my house.

***
My neighbors are home for some reason today. I don't like that. I don't know why. I just don't like it. They're odd. They have a long-haired dachshund that sounds like it has bronchitis when it barks. They aren't friendly and I don't like the fact that they won't talk to me about things, but complain to the landlord. That annoyed me.

He opens the hood of his van and leaves it open for hours. I have no idea why.

Last night at 1 in the morning, I was watching some DVRd stuff up here and he was out sitting in the van. Fortunately, I was still dressed since I had the light on and I'm sure he could see inside the room with no problem. He finally drove away. Yup ... got no idea.

***
I have never taken a long vacation without my father doing all of the planning. Max and I haven't taken one of these ... ever! I'm starting to plan. I think I'm going to make myself crazy. I keep telling myself that it's only 10 days. We have credit cards and can buy anything we've forgotten. We're taking the dog and we'll have each other. It will be fine. We're also driving, so we have complete flexibility. But, I'm still freaking out a little bit.

I don't hang out with druggies

No. Really. I don't!

It was a little startling to me this afternoon to sit beside an obviously drug-addicted young woman in the car at a stoplight. I only noticed because I began to see incredible gesturing as she spoke to the guy in the driver's seat. Everything about her was wrong. She talked and talked, then her body bounced and then her head twitched. She was in her early 30s, yet she had terrible acne and her eyes were darting back and forth. Her hand gestures were odd and continuous.

I'd like to have given her the benefit of the doubt, but he was smoking something that wasn't a cigarette (or even a cigar) and he was just as jittery.

You know ... my heart broke for them. This is a life that is no life.

I was on my way to a rehearsal with 20 young high school women (SingOmaha Choral Concert - next Sunday, October 12, click for more information!). I began to consider their lives as I watched them in rehearsal. I could see girls who would probably be advertising execs, artists and writers, scientists, teachers, moms and anything else they choose to be. All sorts of potential and none of them would ever dream that they might end up in a car on a Sunday afternoon, high and traveling with a scumbag.

All I could do today for the girl in the car beside me was pray for her. I do the same for the girls in Harmonia, but I also get a chance to interact with them. Encouragement, support and a little bit of love - that's what kids need from people like me.

I was a little startled to see a life that was lost at 12:45 in the afternoon in the middle of Millard, Nebraska. I was very thankful to spend time with 20+ lives that have huge futures in front of them for the rest of the afternoon.

A Day Away from Home

Max and I took off this afternoon for a long drive through Iowa. It's a wonderful thing to do on a beautiful day. We pack the dog, stuff for me, and Max's camera. The main goal is for Max to find interesting things to shoot. Secondary goal is to hang out together. Both of those were met today.

Max thought he needed to get some practice in before we head to Arizona in a couple of weeks. Uh huh. Whatever. He has been taking pictures since he was in Junior High. I'm betting he knows what he is doing at this point. It cracks me up when he feels the need to justify a trip like this. I'm always thrilled to get in the car with him and drive to wherever we end up.

Today was a little weird, though. He was in the driver's seat when I got to the vehicle. I always drive on these trips. That way he can keep his eyes open for the interesting shot and I can get him as close as possible to it. I'll be honest with you - he didn't stop in as many places as we usually do - I'm much better at this. He'll learn, he'll learn.

Some cool things that were of no consequence, but made me happy:
Gas - $3.06/gallon
Arby's - Mac & Cheezers (Oh my goodness, these rock so much)
Biker bars in small town Iowa.
Hardee's in Denison, Iowa is also a Mexican grocery.
"Honk for the Hawkeyes" 4' x 8' plywood sign on a farm in Iowa. (I honked)
Bathrooms when they are necessary
Friendly farmers on the backroads and in the fields. Everyone waves.
Fields in the middle of harvest - gorgeous!

It was a good day.

Fun with Family

Have I told you often enough that I love my family? Well, I do. My brother, Jim, was in town for a Microsoft meeting (he uses their production level products). I picked Matthew up from college and we all got together for dinner at TGIFridays. I can't believe how fortunate we were. They tucked us back away from everything at a table, and we were able to laugh and enjoy our time together. Carol showed up after work, Max was there ... it was time for the riot to begin.

It didn't take long. Jim took offense at Carol's implication that he never planned anything. Well, not really offense, but enough to set her up for some incredible teasing. At some point during the evening, each of the 5 people at the table had completely taken it on the chin. We didn't even spare the youngling.

As I drove Matthew back to his dorm, he made a comment about his dad being more relaxed. Ummm ... yup! That happens when you don't have to be the 'dad.' Matthew is finally getting to the age where Jim can relax and not have to parent him all the time.

I've watched several of my friends transform when their kids enter college. The weight of responsibility has been lifted and they start enjoying things again, they remember the earlier, carefree self. It's fun.

Tomorrow is my other nephew, Jacob's, birthday. He'll be 15. His mom invited Carol and me to be present for one of her ultrasounds with him. That just doesn't seem like such a long time ago. In fact, it wasn't! My kids just keep growing up.

I love my family.

Uh oh ... bad Diane

So. I was supposed to get a lot of writing done today.

It didn't happen.

I got caught up in a book - ok, I totally got lost in it and before I knew what had happened, I'd lost a couple of hours. I finished the book, but I didn't get done what I hoped to. And then, I realized that I had promised Matthew I would go through his Old Testament Studies text before we met for a study time tomorrow night (prior to a bi-weekly exam). I rushed through those 5 chapters and filled out the study guide so that we could spend quality time together tomorrow evening.

This reading thing? There was a reason that I stopped doing this. I easily become addicted to words on the page.

I purchased my Kindle in July. In the last 2 1/2 months, I have read over 50 novels. If my Kindle isn't turned on as I'm reading, it's plugged into the wall, charging up for the next session. When I forget to plug it in (because I've fallen asleep and the thing has fallen out of my hands), I end up cursing the next day because I've depleted the battery and have to stay close to a power source while I'm reading. I take it everywhere. If I have a few extra minutes before meeting friends for lunch, I'm reading in my car. If I am outside with the dog, I sit on the stoop and read while she is laying in the sun. If I'm traveling the countryside with Max and his camera, I pray that he'll find a good shot and be there for 15 minutes or so, so that I can read. I lay down at midnight and find myself having finished one book and am well into another by 2 am (when the Kindle falls out of my hands).

For me, reading is a very selfish thing. When I'm reading fiction, I don't really want anyone reading it along with me. I don't want to share in their synopsis of the book, or hear their critique of the characters. By the time I'm well into a good book, the characters and locales have become such a part of my imagination that I am experiencing their thoughts and actions. My body cringes when they get physically attacked, I find myself in tears when their emotions run high, I laugh and I get angry with them.

I re-read books all the time. In fact, many of the books on my Kindle have been purchased again, because I missed them so much. I had read Anne McCaffrey's Dragon books 15-20 years ago and I've fallen in love with them all over again. Frank Herbert's Dune series is back on my Kindle as will Isaac Asimov's Foundation series be soon. Many of the classics are free (copyright is up - they're all over the internet) and are filling my Kindle. I have cried (for probably the 9th or 10th time) at Beth's death in "Little Women."

Max and I got rid of the television in the living room. We have cable hooked up to his computer, but since he is on it when he is home, we are recording the shows that I enjoy watching. You know what? I watch no more than an hour or two of television a day now - just the shows I really enjoy. I've tried a few of the new series and one or two has caught my attention, the others will just fade away for me.

Who has time for TV? My books fill my mind. Words, wonderful words.

Hmmm ... cleaning and cooking. Nope. I will however, meet you for a meal. And if you're late. No worries. In fact, I won't mind at all. Someone is probably trying to evade a vampire, or solve a mystery, or chase down an X-wing.

I Challenge You ...

There is a very interesting group called TED (Technology Entertainment Design) that holds a conference each year with the hope that the free exchange of ideas will change the world. Some of the most brilliant minds speak at this conference and many of these talks are available for the rest of the world to experience.

There is an annual prize given each year and in 2007 it was awarded to James Natchwey, an international photojournalist. The prize consists of $100,000 and the granting of a wish. His wish comes to fruition this Friday, October 3. He asked for assistance in accessing a story that needed to be told and in disseminating the breaking of that story in creative, digital ways so that many people around the world would be part of this.

After viewing the video below, I am absolutely terrified of what story he finds so important that he has asked the digital community to assist him in breaking it. The man has seen the worst that this world has to offer and has photographed it in a compassionate, yet extremely honest manner.

I challenge you to watch his talk at TED all the way through. If you can do so without feeling surges of emotion, you have more control than I. It is 20+ minutes long (the last 2 minutes are an ad for clean water).


And then, come back here on Friday, click on the badge and we'll see what story he is telling.

Are you kidding me?

Have you seen this forecast?

This is a GOOD week to live in Omaha.

Digging at the guts

Ok, that title might have been a little too visceral, but sorry ... that's the way I think.

I'm trying to dig apart 31 Psalms for the study I'm beginning at the Pour Out a Blessing blog. It's exciting to me. This stuff makes me a little high. But, I want to beat myself for some of my early choices - ok, my educational choices. And then, I want to stand in front of high school seniors and college freshmen and tell them that they had better not DARE allow themselves to be driven by their fears and expectations of failure.

There was one thing I was good at when I left high school - music. So, it seemed that the best option for my future was to teach music. Actually, I was going to be a music therapist. I think I also believed that I would quickly be married and would end up in a small town in Iowa, working in a local nursing home and raising a family.

Uhhh ... do you see any of that in my life?

I made those decisions because I was not challenged to make different decisions. I don't know why my parents didn't push me into something bigger. I suspect a lot of it was driven by financial concerns, some of it was the fact that mom wanted me to stay within the state of Iowa, and much of it was that they allowed me to make decisions for myself. But, those decisions were made by a girl who attended a small high school in a small town and who had seen very little of the big life out there.

Today, I wish that I had gone to seminary and had been forced to learn Hebrew and Greek. I would like to have that information parked in the back of my head so that as I tear through these Psalms and as I write Bible studies and teach, I would have that information available to me without having to rely on extraneous sources.

I know, I know. It's never too late to learn. And I'm working on it. But, it would certainly be nice to have it already finished and have had 25 years of practice in place so that these things would be familiar and easy to me.

Oh well ... I just wrote a study from Psalm 33:11. Yes, the Lord's plans stand forever. I'll count on that now...

Short Night. Alternate Title: Freedom

Last night was quite a short night. I was asleep by, oh ... about 4:30 am. I woke up at 8:00, asked myself if I was nuts, turned over and went back to sleep. But, by 9:30, I had a shivering dog (trying not to wake me up because she needed to go outside) and I knew that I had things to do today. However, looking at the clock, it's taken me nearly an hour to wake up enough to do anything productive.

I started to write a blog last night on 'Banned Books Week.' At some point, I realized that I have difficulty writing a blog about things that inflame me so as to stir others up. You won't catch me writing political blogs or issues based blogs. It seems that every time I do that, I tick someone off and end up in a passionate argument with them and that just stresses me out. It's not that I won't argue my point (most of you know I will), but you will find that I do that in speech rather than the written word. That way, the words tend to dissipate quickly.

But, I am passionate about freedoms and banning books falls in line with a lot of other freedoms that seem to fade away the older this country gets. I tend to keep my mouth shut about a lot of this, because I also believe that everyone has the freedom to have an opinion, even when they disagree with me.

I think that basic freedoms are not only granted to us by this country, but we are also given an assurance of freedom as Christians. We are given the freedom to not be bound up by a legalistic Christian society, we are given the freedom to learn about God in ways that might seem strange to those around us.

I am trying to keep an open mind about my nephew attending a Bible college. You see, one of the things that I try to do when I teach is make information available to those who are learning from me. I hate the idea of choosing a side and then teaching only the information that will prove that side of the topic. It is important to me that those who are in the initial stages of learning the things of God be taught to hunt for the truth themselves, not just be indoctrinated into a belief structure.

I don't think I'm making my thoughts very coherent here. I guess I'm still trying to formulate them into words and I'm probably jumping the gun with this blog. Sorry 'bout that!

I can't emphasize enough the importance of studying scripture for the Christian or even the Christian-searcher. The Bible offers freedom, not bondage. The older I've gotten, the more that makes sense to me. I'm frightened when I watch people allow their spiritual leaders to do all of the learning and studying for them. Christians through the centuries have allowed themselves to be caught up into terrible things because they allow a leader to interpret the things of God.

For all of this, I take the ideals of the Bereans very closely (the original Bereans, not necessarily the Bereans of the 20th/21st Century). Read about them in Acts 17:11.

The say that power comes from information. So does freedom. Know why you believe. Know why you act. Know why you trust.

Hmmm ... I only hope that the random thoughts of this blog will stir random thoughts in your own mind.

Announcing - A New Blog

I am beginning a new blog on October 1: Pour Out a Blessing. You will find the first day's blog up there already, but the next won't hit until October 2.

The desire to study scripture and then teach what I learn is quite intense in me. Before I decided to go ahead with this, I needed to ensure that I would be able to maintain the insanity of writing something on a daily basis. I can. Especially when I do most of the writing beforehand and just schedule the uploads.

I have chosen 31 of the Psalms to begin this project. We will read one each day during the month of October and I will have done a little study and a bit of writing about them. I'm not yet sure what will happen during November, but right now it looks like I will be studying I & II Peter.

There is a fabulous tool that allows me to reference scripture passages and it will highlight those for you so that you don't have to click away from the blog. Cool stuff!

You can either choose to read this in the blog format, or I will be glad to email the daily information to you. If you would like to receive this via email, just drop me a line at nammynools(at)cox(dot)net and I will get you on the list.

You don't have to know me well to be a part of this journey, in fact, if you have a friend that would enjoy (or could use) a daily prodding to get in to Scripture, please invite them to participate either on the blog or via email.

My little corner of the world

Here is my world during the day. The door beside me is open all the time ... beautiful breezes coming through. The overhang doesn't allow rain to get in and it's always shaded. The books in the case are Max's. Lots of photography stuff and a few other strange things. One of these days, we'll find this collection of books a new home and mine will start showing up in here. But, for now, this is ok.










This is Max's space. (behind my chair). He gets the back of the room. But, if he wants the two windows open, that's easy. He tends to like to control the lighting of the room, so the blinds don't get opened very often - especially when he's working on his photography. The crazy man has calibrated our monitors to a specific lighting set. I love him.











And because my girl (Leica) hangs out with me all day, here are a few pictures I snapped of her. Sitting up on her haunches, she is generally telling me that it's time for her to go outside. She can hear Max's van come in the alley. She pops up to watch him get out of his car and walk towards the house, then runs down the stairs to greet him. Not a bad life, eh?











I finally got a new bed for her - reduced the clutter of blankets in the room. It's pretty amazing. She is so at peace with the world and I'm absolutely certain that this little dog keeps me calm, just by hanging out with her.

Ahhhh ... much better!

Life is THAT much better when things begin heading back towards normal. Max finished with my computer about 9:00 pm. I sat down at my desk, rearranged my things (I am becoming quite concerned with my obsession over unnecessary details) and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside (there's a joke somewhere about eating a cat - warm and fuzzy inside, get it? Oh well.)

So, now it's 2:45 am, the dog is sound asleep beside me, the cat is wandering around feeling a lack of attention and Max is asleep. The house is quiet, the crickets are chirping ... hmmm ... different pitches, quite a song!

I believe I might have gotten a bit more sleep when I was limited to a laptop that didn't have my life on it, but wow, that's just not any fun now, is it?

I've paid bills, worried over the economy (those two things work well together, eh?) become annoyed with campaign season, tried to learn some new information (today in 1957 - West Side Story debuted on Broadway), sorted old mail, discovered that the Tastefully Simple website was down for maintenance and picked trash up off the floor in the study (Max was ripping boxes apart on the floor - he got the big stuff, but managed to completely miss small pieces of trash).

Time for bed. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Nope, there's nothing going on ... just looking forward to the day!

I'll tell the world

How often do you have an emotional telephone conversation with your mechanic? A man you have never met. It doesn't happen very often for me, that's for sure. But, today, it did.

So ... I told you about my car breaking down on me a couple of days ago. You read my fury and frustration. I failed.

Last night we finally got the car towed to the garage and this afternoon, the manager called me. We spoke for a few minutes and then he said, "You are a very, very lucky girl."

He went on to explain that two bolts had come out of the caliper on the front left brake. They were messing with the tire, which was my problem. Ok. That's fine. I am lucky. This happened now and not in a month while I was on vacation.

And he said, "No. You're right, but that's not what I'm talking about. We found another problem." Now, before you all start telling me about dishonest mechanics - this is not who this garage is. These guys are people I trust and they're good. Their prices are more than reasonable, in fact, generally 25-30 percent lower than anyone else. At least. I've experienced a 50% difference at times.

I asked, "What was the problem."

"Diane, the tie rod on your steering was loose. It could have come off at any time and you would have been without steering capability. It would have been like steering a child's toy. The car would have been going on it's own and you would have had no control."

He repeated. "You were very lucky."

I said, "God was watching out for me and everyone else on the road."

He chuckled a little. "Yes, I think He was."

I repeated, "No, I'm pretty sure that I was in God's hands through that entire thing. He stopped the car before trouble could happen."

He chuckled again. "I believe you are right. It's a good thing you have a great relationship with Him."

At that point, I was hit by what this guy was saying to me. And I started to cry. I don't know if he heard the emotion in my voice, but he told me that they would get parts tomorrow and would get things all fixed up.

We talked about a couple of other things - I wanted to ensure they looked everything over before I took the car to Arizona in October. Then we closed. I said "Thank you." He repeated. "It might not have been luck, but this week you were a very lucky girl."

I am! And not only that, but today, I'm a thankful girl. Very thankful that nothing happened where I could have hurt someone else with my vehicle and very thankful that the problem was caught by someone who could fix it. I certainly don't mind telling him that I have a God in heaven watching out for me.

**POSTSCRIPT. It doesn't escape my notice that I was furious on Tuesday evening about the annoyance of all of this in my world. I imagine God listening to me complain and whine about the whole thing and wanting to pop me on the head, saying, "When will you understand that I see the big picture and your narrow little mind only sees the moment?"

He is God and I am not. Thank you, Lord!

I feel so out of synch

I feel like I should be writing more here, but to be honest with you, my world seems out of synch and I don't know how to overcome it so that I can concentrate on writing! With all of the shows I've been watching and books I've been ready that have to do with psychosis and obsessive compulsives, it makes me curious about myself.

Oh well, sigh ...

My car is at the garage. I don't know anything yet. The tow truck driver announced to Max last night that he had 'never heard that sound before.' Great. As the guy at the garage said to me when I told him that, 'that's a little unnerving.' Ummm ... yup. That's my baby you're talking about there. I waited for a long time to get her, please take care of her!

After much hashing and thrashing about, the motherboard finally arrived at my doorstep this morning. Now I have to wait for Max to get home so that he can even begin to install it. That doesn't include all of the insanity that will commence once the board is installed.

Sigh ...

Things are discombobulated in my world and I obviously don't handle it well. Who knew? At least I'm not just sleeping ... I'm whining.

Carol is coming to pick up our television later this afternoon. I have a large amount of 'stuff' that I'm also giving to her. Things for her to use in her classroom. Lots of great books, and for some reason or other, I have a bunch of toys from fast food restaurant promotions. She can give those away to her kids. She's getting all of my games for her classroom and some other crap that I hope she can use. It will be good to have more stuff gone from my world, but it's never enough.

So, nothing extraordinary or holy or even thought-provoking happening in my world right now.

Sigh ...

What do you do when you're angry?

Ok ... my day sucked. In nearly every way.

The morning didn't start out badly at all. I woke up, came upstairs and logged on to the computer. The wind was blowing outside, I had the door open and the screen was allowing me to enjoy the breeze. What a beautiful day this would be. There was a storm brewing, but I was looking forward to enjoying it from the comfort of my little study.

Storm brewing - hah!

About 11:45, I decided it would be a wonderful thing to go get lunch today, rather than forage through the kitchen. I put Leica on the leash and opened the back door. OH! There's a box there from Amazon.com. I know what's in it, so I don't need to open it, just put it inside on the kitchen counter and head out. I did that and Leica was pulling on the leash - ready to go. I walked out the door, pulled it shut and said, "(INSERT EVERY CURSE WORD HERE) I left the keys on the counter and am stuck out here with no way to get back in!!!"

My brain went into overdrive and I realized that Max would be going to lunch soon. I did have my wallet and my cell phone. I called him. He told me he would be getting off in 15 minutes and then he would come home and let me back in the house. So, I sat on the back stoop and enjoyed the breezy time, called a couple of friends, chatted with them, watched Leica play in the yard. He showed up 1/2 hour later and let me in.

After that, Max went back to work and I went out to Arby's to pick up lunch. I nearly picked off two pedestrians in our alley - couldn't see them at all. That would have been bad. Then, I had to pull into a parking space at Arby's and after they brought me my food, I checked and checked and then backed up and a guy came whipping through the parking lot and I nearly hit him.

At that point, I was just glad to get home in one piece.

I spent most of the day fighting with an online computer parts retailer - they said that a package was supposed to have shipped, but it didn't. The idiot customer service people were sending me over the edge - I got a little snippy to say the least. Max was glad it was them I was focusing my anger at and not him. I was PISSED!

And THEN, to top off the whole day ...

I left the house early to pick my nephew up for a rehearsal (Canticum Novum - check out singomaha.com). We were going to head to Scooters for some caffeine before rehearsal started. I got 10 blocks from home, pressed down on the brake and heard a strange lurching sound. I managed to pull into a parking lot. The car would go in reverse, but not forward very well. I had to call Max to come get me with the other car, call Matthew to tell him I was going to be a little bit late. I left the car there and by the time I had Matthew in the car, I was spitting fire!

He's such a great kid - he just listened to me and let me rant and rave. We got to rehearsal - I was five minutes late, not too bad. Then, I took Matthew back, came back here, picked Max up so that we could see if maybe the brakes had locked up because of the rain. Ummm ... nope. And now that I think about it, it's probably the Serpentine belt.

So, tomorrow, I have to deal with getting it towed to my garage. But, we have a good warranty on the thing, the cost isn't going to be a big deal and there's no reason for me to have to go anywhere tomorrow.

Now I'm home, I finally have some supper in me. I've calmed down enough to get through the night. Tomorrow will be another day (hehe).

I try to handle my anger, but sometimes a day just freakin' gets the better of me!

And they were singing...

Bye, bye Miss American Pie ... drove my Chevy to the levy and the levy was dry. Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singing "this will be the day that I die. This will be the day that I die."

So, I had a great start to the evening. I took Matthew to Panera to help him study a bit for his Old Testament Survey test that happens tomorrow. We both enjoy it. I got home and hmmm ... weird, the dog is downstairs. She has been limping the last day or so, wonder why she's not upstairs with Max.

"Max? Have you let Leica out?"

"Yup, about 5 minutes ago."

Hmmm ... so why aren't you back upstairs with him? Maybe your leg hurts. Ok, I'll bundle you under one arm, grab my Iced Chai and Max's supper and we'll head up.

When I hit the top of the steps, I should be able to look into our 'study' and see Max at his desk. He wasn't there. He wasn't in the bathroom. I know that I just talked to him. Where is he? I put Leica on the floor and stepped up two more steps, looking for my husband. Not finding him. This is weird.

I walked into the study and there were strange noises emanating from it. And I found him, kneeling on the floor with my computer case open and the entrails strewn across the floor. He looked up at me.

"I'm so sorry! I walked past on my way to the bathroom and as I walked, I watched the screen go black. Something has happened and I can't get it to move past this (and he showed me a strange bootup screen) screen."

Guhreat ... of course! Well, it's not his fault and he feels terrible. Fortunately, all of the things that I am writing are also contained on a flash drive. He worked for a few more minutes, told me that he needed to order a mother board and we powered up the laptop.

Argh! I am not kidding you when I tell you that every 3-6 months something weird happens to my computer! The worst thing is, I'm fairly picky about how I want my desktop, email and browser window to look and act. I personalize these things immediately. So ... every 3-6 months, I end up reworking a computer. You'd think I would have it down to a science. I pretty much do.

What I love about myself is the trust that I put in each new computer setup. 'Surely this is going last a couple of years.' And I start building my little onboard nest. Then, whoosh ... it's gone again.

A girl could begin believing that God is trying to teach her about the impermenance of life.

Found: Lost Memories

Oh my, I just delved back into my scrapbooks from high school and college. I haven't looked through these in years. Pictures from musicals and shows, pictures from trips around the country, pictures from groups I performed with, newspaper articles, invitations, memories from an innocent, wonderful time of my life. I cried at the things I had forgotten. Best friends that are scattered around the world, boys that I loved, pets that I treasured.

Though it may be an overwhelming task, it's time to start scanning my memories to ensure that I have access to them digitally. I have watched too many natural weather occurrences destroy these things lately. I have several lifetimes of information that need to be preserved. The thing is, it might take a lifetime to get all of this digitized ... but, I'm ready. It will be one of the most enjoyable things I ever do!

I am one of those very fortunate people. I had a wonderful childhood. I loved junior high, I had a great time in high school and college (all 3 that I managed to attend in 4 years) was a blast! I had terrific friends, I had a great family. I was very fortunate. So, as I look back on those years, I get to do so with a sense of joy at the fun I had and nostalgia at the things I miss.

And I have to say ... the music of the 70s? Can you even believe it? How fortunate was I to be in high school and have the radio on when that great music was first being played! Ummm ... oh yah!

The middle of the night

I'm sure that most of you know by now that I am awake while the rest of the world sleeps. I figure I am going to bed early if I make it by 2 am. Everything is quiet and peaceful at that hour. The world around me is sleeping, however crickets are still chirping.

The other night I was standing out on the front porch while Leica had one last run at the grass. There are very few cars traveling at that hour, sometimes in the 4-5 minutes that we are outside, only one will pass my front door.

I always wonder what that one person might be doing. Have they left a party? Or a girlfriend (boyfriend)? Are they leaving work or going to work? Did they get a call from someone that needed them urgently?

But then, they are gone, and those fleeting thoughts give way to observations of the world around me.

A half block away is a traffic light. At 10 pm, it turns to flashing yellow (or red, depending on your aspect). The other night, it was so quiet that I heard the lights shifting on and off. As I concentrated on the sound, I also noticed that the Martinizing store's 'open' sign was also flashing on and off. Hmm ... someone forgot to shut that off ... unless ... they were still open at 2:30 am.

Living in the city, I rarely am exposed to silence at the level that I can hear a traffic light change. I've missed that. But, between 2 and 4 am, I come close. I like it. A lot.

I totally love geeks

I am an unrepentant geek fangirl. There it is. I totally rock on geeks. I read Wil Wheaton's blog religiously, not because he acted in Star Trek: The Next Generation (but, that started my adoration), but because he loves all things geek. I love playing Dungeons & Dragons. I love comic books (graphic novels), I love science fiction and fantasy. I love that people were freaking out over the LHC (Large Hadron Collider). Gadgets and computers totally fulfill me. The best thing about being old is that I was reading Asimov and Frank Herbert before most of the geeks around today were even born.

I was just reading Wil Wheaton's blog and he was playing D&D with some friends who happen to write comic books. Argh! I'm just glad I wasn't in the room. I would have totally embarrassed myself with my mouth open until I drooled. I linked off his blog from one thing to the next and started looking through pictures on flickr and giggled as I read the t-shirt of one of the geeks from Wizards of the Coast (producers of all things D&D), I read "I spent my reward on ale and whores" with a picture of a drunken dwarf lying underneath the words. I laughed and laughed and realized that I simply love these guys. I'll never meet them - they all live in California. They'll never know that there is this old lady in Omaha, Nebraska that lives out her inner geek self through all the wierd things that happen in the world.

God knew that I was like this. Oh, for heaven's sake, I never hid it! I was on the internet back when Al Gore was creating it! And God found a geek just for me. It's a good life I lead.

A little offended

Alright, already! I had a birthday this week. I'm getting older. I get it. I get it!

I get a lot of scripture verses coming into my email account each day.

When this one came in this week, I giggled a little:

(The Lord says,) "Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." (Isaiah 46:4)

But, really, a second one? I mean, I understand when they all start stacking up around the holidays. The various senders want to ensure that I remember it's Christmas or Easter or Mother's Day or Father's Day or Labor Day or whatever day. But, none of these mail bot systems know that it's my birthday! So, when I got the second one, I was a little concerned that someone was trying to tell me something...

The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old. Proverbs 20:29

Yes, that one just popped into my email inbox and I laughed out loud. It's 1:30 am and I'm laughing. Hopefully I didn't just wake Max up. Stupid email inbox. I do not need this abuse.

Today

Dear Lord,

It's so difficult to comprehend all that has changed in our world in the last seven years. But, here we are. We've managed to maintain a sense of stability, if not a reality of stability, after our innocence and feelings of safety crashed around us when those airplanes hurtled toward imminent destruction.

We've given up freedoms to feel safe, we've watched young men and women die when many of us have no understanding of the full purpose of a war that was waged in reaction to that fateful day. Every disaster brings back memories of that gorgeous September morning with nary a cloud in the sky. We are haunted by the pictures and frightened of the possibilities.

In this great land, we have forgotten that to trust in You is to place our confidence in the One who brings perfect peace. We have put our trust in governments and policing agencies, hoping they will bring perpetrators to justice and make us feel safe again.

Oh, God, our God, You are our hope. You are our strength and shield. In You alone will we find safety.

Today, Lord, I ask that You show us small reminders of Your power and grace. Show us mercy when we need it, help us to find peace in the midst of chaos, help us to reach out to those around us with trust and openness.

Psalm 24

The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.

He will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God his Savior.

Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob.

Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle.

Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

Who is he, this King of glory? The Lord Almighty - he is the King of glory.

The difference between you and me...

I shut down my computer upstairs, took the dog outside for one last trip around the yard, went to the car to get my Kindle so I could read myself to sleep and in the quiet of the night, began thinking again about how I am less than honest with whomever reads this blog and for that matter, with myself. You see, I still find that I am constantly aware of every word that I put down on paper, so to speak.

For the most part, that's fine. Most of the time you don't want to read what is going on in my head. I'm going to lose my 'G' rating and just say it. I'm a bitch. Most of the time. Some of you know that, some of you don't want to believe it. But, it's real. I know it. I cover it up really well. I've learned how to be gracious and kind. Oh, and trust me. I don't say things that I don't mean. So, I won't lie to you when I am gracious and kind. If I don't think nice things, I simply will say nothing.

But, the running commentary in my head is filled with sarcasm and strange comments and thoughts. All of these are kept to a level of a dull roar so that they don't intrude on conversations. I catch my friends trying to draw my attention back to a conversation and wonder what I might be looking at. Oh, don't mind me. I'm paying attention to a woman who has her skirt hiked up in the back because she didn't look at herself in the mirror this morning and her butt is too big. She needs a different size. But, she's also wearing spike heels and thinking that she is all that. Lady, wash your hair, wear clothes that fit and really? This is appropriate attire for an office? Oh ... I see. You're going to the nail salon on your lunch hour - because your freakin' bright red, long talons aren't scary enough.

And then there's the woman who is chain smoking. Her son is driving (gawd, I hope it's her son) and they are meeting the husband for lunch. She can't be bothered to put out her cigarette before she is good and done with it. She reeks of too much perfume and cigarette smoke, her voice is husky from years of smoking and her gabardine pants should have been left in the 80s, along with her strange hair style.

Yup, these are the things that go on in my mind when I'm watching people. They take only split seconds of my attention, so I try to process on all of the conversations around me.

I was also thinking tonight that I tend to live in a very different world when I'm in my home then I do when I'm with my friends. I am an information-aholic. No, you don't understand. I can't check out a few blogs online. I have to have a blog reader so that I can get MANY of them coming in to my computer. I read blogs from all over the place. If I check out your blog - I see who you are reading and if they are interesting, before long, they are in my blogroll. I can't be left out of the loop. I must know what is happening.

I read a blog by a sci fi writer. I love that she gives a lot of information as she is writing about her process, but I know about her personal life - and I'm not sure why this information is important to me! But, her blogs have taken me all over the place to other writers and people that she knows. I love geek blogs. Wil Wheaton is one of my favorites. He's just really cool. I'm the only person I know that reads these strange things. Who am I going to talk to about them? So, I exist in my little space and contain my thoughts within my brain.

It's a good thing I have Max that shows up every afternoon at 4:30 pm or so and doesn't leave me until we sleep. He listens to my insane ramblings. He doesn't judge me for my snarky commentary on life. He hears what I'm trying to tell him (for the most part) when I read strange items on the net. (sometime you should go to amazon.com and look up condoms. It's just a total "FAIL" on their part - because its standard procedures. But the listing for Trojans tells you that you can buy new and used for $9.99. See!!! strange things in my brain!)

2:40 am and I am probably rambling. I don't know if I've said anything new here. But, that's alright, I feel a little better just by getting words out of my fingers. Good night!

It's an Interesting Life

Never boring.

I was out with a few friends this evening to celebrate my birthday. It's pretty cool that among my friends, I count my sister, my husband and my nephew. I do love my family. Matthew wiped me out. He gave me flowers. I cried. I'm not sure why. It kind of startled him, too. But, I cried. He gave me a fuzzy purple pillow. Awesome.

My memory serves me well in many areas, but as for celebrating holidays ... well, I stink. I don't remember specifics about holidays (including birthdays), but I remember conversations and snippets of events. I looked through my jewelry box this weekend - something I haven't done in quite some time. It made me emotional. I found treasures from my past, but I can't remember why they were treasures. I just remember that I loved those pieces. There are a couple that I have anchored in my mind, but others ... well, not so much.

When we cleaned out my grandmother's apartment, we found that she had put little labels on the bottom of her precious pieces or stock little notes in vases, etc. All of those things told us exactly what the piece was and where and when it had come from. It helped us to anchor her memories.

I have many calendars that I have filled out over the years. I generally get started well, but then lose track of what I'm doing. But, those little snippets of my memory are wonderful. I just found journal entries (in a steno pad) from late 1995/early 1996. Max and I were traveling around Iowa a lot as he photographed the landscapes. I was reminded of the dates and times of things that we did and places we saw. I'll be honest with you. If I hadn't read my own handwriting, I would never have believed that we went to some of the places I say that we went. Terrible, terrible memory.

Tonight, though as I think back on mmy life, I can't believe how fortunate I have been. I see God's grace moving through my life. Occurrences that had the power to destroy me have become nothing more than a bit of a memory.

The gifts that I have received, though are greater than any difficult times in my life. My family, incredible friends, experiences, everything ... my life has been a gift. I know this and I am thankful for the opportunity to live my life in response to that gift.

So, in a rather uneventful day that celebrates my entrance into time and space, I reflect and then, I look forward. I always look forward with wonder to what tomorrow will bring.

Studying for Exams

Well, I had my first study session with my nephew this evening. Out to dinner at Panera and then spent a little time going over information for his Old Testament Survey class. There are some definite benefits to being an old lady that has lived in the Bible for a lot of years. I discovered that there is some basic information I simply have absorbed into my life that I had to drill Matt on tonight. That's cool. I'm just glad he is starting to learn the info.

What are the first 5 books of the Bible called? The Pentateuch. Penta = 5. Teuchos = Scrolls. 5 Scrolls. What is the Hebrew word for it? Torah. What language was the Old Testament written in? Mainly Hebrew with a few scattered passages in Aramaic. What was the first Greek translation called? The Septuagint: 72 men worked on the translation. They didn't know what else to call it - so it's simply ... 70. What are the two major rivers around the Cradle of Civilization? Tigris and Euphrates. And what is the land called there? Mesopotamia. What was the first civilization group? Sumerians. And their written language? Cuneiform. What was the written language of the Egyptians? Hieroglyphics. What were two of the major roads through Israel called? Via Maris (Way of the Sea) and the Highway of the King.

What is the canon. Canon literally means "measuring stick." So, books of scripture were measured to find if they qualified. A book had to be written by a prophet or inspired by the Holy Spirit, it had to reach to all generations and it had to fit within the rest of the text of the scriptures to qualify.

Wonderful information about our scriptures. It's one thing to learn scripture, it's even greater to learn about them and where they came from - what about the people and the landscape of the world at the time. How do our scriptures fit into the relevance of ancient times as well as today's world. What are the other creation stories that were being told at the time? What about other flood stories? What is so different about the Bible and other tales and myths from that era.

I'm loving this early information ... I don't know if I'm going to love going back into Leviticus and Numbers. I've read those books quite a few times in the last several years and you know what? I'm tired of 'em. Lots of laws, lots of details. But, here we go again!

So Much, So Little

Alright, my poor brain has decided that it wants to explode. And that's only because I seem to be abusing it. Sometimes I have difficulty accepting a linear type of input into the brain. I want to absorb it all and I want to make it happen right now!

Here's the deal.

• I want to re-work my website. I've started hacking at it. Pulled some things off that needed to be gone. I've gotten Dreamweaver back and I'm working away at it.
• I'm writing. I have 2 different fictional stories rattling around in my brain. This doesn't include the 2 others that I have begun but not finished. What this means is that I have story lines happening regularly in my mind.
• I have a short study I'm writing (Bible-based study on "The Shack") and a long, intensive study that I am just starting to process on.
• I am working with Matthew as he learns Biblical Hermeneutics and as he is doing the Old Testament survey class.
• I have completely re-discovered my intense passion for fiction.
• I need to continue to clean and purge the garbage from my house.
• I am knitting again - I can, however, do this as I read.
• Some of my favorite television shows are starting up this week (Bones is the first).
• I've begun playing Dungeons & Dragons with my family. This requires a bit of study and research on my part so that I play well and it is an enjoyable experience for everyone.
• One of my great joys is emailing back and forth with friends and family. I generally try to put a lot of thought into those missives.

Consequently, the mundane things in life tend to annoy me. They take up brain activity that I don't want to relinquish. Things like actually talking to people (my husband), going to the bathroom, taking a shower and getting dressed in the morning (it's always better after it's done), sleeping, making a real meal and not snacking on crap, taking the dog out for a potty break, etc., etc.

What generally happens is that I begin to process on all of these things at once and my brain lurches into a dead stop. That's guaranteed to put me to sleep. I then avoid everything and do nothing. It takes a fair bit of discipline to keep me on track and to remind myself to maintain a linear mode of thinking. Some days I don't exercise that discipline and I discover a level of frustration at the end of the day.

I'm definitely not going to complain about these things in my life. I am fortunate that these are the things that I get to concentrate on during the day. Now, if I can just make the brain slow down a bit so that I can catch up, all will be pretty near perfect!