45 minutes later

Staff meeting is over - and it was relatively painless! Now, a short staff meeting is a new concept for us and one I would dearly love for everyone to grasp hold of.

I have many different blogs that I read. Some of the bloggers talk to me all through the day in short bits of information. Others blog like I do, in long streams of thought. Me? I feel a little cheated when the only thing I get is one or two sentences, but then I feel a little overwhelmed when I have to read an entire missive.

My biggest problem is that I DO have a lot of words in my world. I have a ton of things to say. It's hard to limit me once I get going. But, when I'm faced with the fear of having to write a lot down on a single subject, I tend to avoid writing.

Oh ... I have no idea ... I'll just keep going and plan to be as random as possible. You'll never know what you're going to get from me!

Normal? HAH!

There's no such thing - even though I might want to believe it about myself.

Alright, I've been yearning for tater tot casserole. I went to the grocery store and bought stuff for that and some other things. Now, maybe you don't understand what a big deal this is! I haven't cooked in ... well ... hmmm ... a long time. And I've started desiring to cook again. That's a very good thing in my world. In Max's world, too. He loves it when I cook, but never complains when I don't. How's that for a terrific husband?

Anyway ... I went to the grocery store, bought food, came home, talked to Max for a few minutes (and snuggled with the animals), then went back to the kitchen to work on dinner. Alas, I had completely forgotten to purchase tater tots. Excuse me? The title of the recipe should imply something. But, that's where distractions and old age sock you in the teeth. You forget the main ingredient.

Fortunately, I had purchased enough other stuff to cook dinner anyway. I'll pick up the tater tots tonight. Sheesh.

So ... normal? Not so much.

Whazzup?

Ok, I don't know what's up, but tonight I feel normal! I got up at a normal hour this morning, had a normal day at work, got home at a normal hour, did something normal like going to the grocery store, am about to make a normal meal at home and have a normal evening with my husband. May I simply say, "This hasn't happened in at least 3 months!" And I don't know what to do with it!

How can I make this happen again?

Larry Norman ... You will be missed

Larry Norman died early this morning. For those of you that have no idea who he was ... it was because of him that we have Christian rock. He was often described as 'the father of Christian rock music.'

Long, blonde hair set him apart from the Christian musicians of the 60s and 70s. And so did his background in music and his choice of the style of music that he played.

The first time I heard him in person was in Colorado in Estes Park at a Christian Artists Music Seminar in the Rockies. 1974. He was the headliner act one evening in the large concert hall. My friend Devbra and I couldn't believe we were getting a chance to hear him in person. Well ... in person meant that we were so far away from the stage that we could barely see him, but we could definitely hear him! This was rock and roll at its best ... and loudest. For a couple of girls from small town Iowa, we were definitely being exposed to something new.

His influence is felt throughout the music industry - not just Christian music. He impacted many people throughout his life.

This is a great article from Christianity Today on the man who brought us some great tunes.

I suspect that Larry is having fun with the musicians in heaven now ... he taught a lot of us how to rock down here ... wonder what he's doing up there?!

Larry Norman ... you will be missed.

So, here's the deal ...

Favorite band - headlining - not opening a show. That makes it after 1 am when I get home. Good heavens! I'm a bit too old for this! I'll admit to a few adult beverages. However, I'm home earlier than some people I know when they go out and party. Hmmm ...

Thousand Houses. Great band. Really great band. The only problem was the excessively loud bands that played before they did and the fact that the room was so ... ummm ... loud.

I feel like a bit of a Thousand Houses groupie. I really do try to get to wherever they are playing. Quality musicians, amazing music. Ahhhhhh ...

So, I get home tonight - I really need to be sleeping. I stink like a smokehouse. My ears are ringing. My husband had a bit too much to drink. And I find THIS in my RSS reader. There are certain things that Spongebob Squarepants should not be endorsing. These things should not be discovered by me at 1:30 in the morning either.

Well, here's hoping that I actually get motivated to write something worthwhile tomorrow.

Good weekend

I spent time at home with Max this weekend. We didn't do too much. Sunday was a bit insane, but other than that, we just spent time hanging out together. We got up late, on Saturday (and Monday), we curled up on the couch and napped together (two humans, a dog and a cat on a couch, it's hilarious), we watched movies, we played games. It was good.

For the last several months it has occurred to me that my time with him is limited. Ok ... limited in a 20-30 year limitation, but limited all the same. I enjoy being with Max! I didn't find him until we were in our mid 30s and I just don't want to miss out on time spent with him. Maybe this is a reaction to all of the death that has occurred in my life this last year. I suppose it could be. But, when I think about how fortunate I am to be married to Max, I realize that I don't want to miss out on the good stuff with him.

I spend most of my week away from him. We have very limited amounts of time together during the week. With my schedule and the fact that we have to be asleep at ungodly early hours, we might have an hour or two during the weekdays to actually speak to each other about things.

People think I'm nuts because I don't make an effort to travel without him or do things without him, because I do make an effort to just be at home with him. If they want to think me crazy, I'm cool with that.

Oh, I know that one of these days he will do or say something that totally sends me over the edge and I'll want to do nothing more than string him up by his toes. But I also know that my anger will subside and I'll get past it.

I spend time asking God to help me love him more and more all the time and it seems to be working. I'm awfully thankful for this goofball that is in my life. I'm a fortunate woman.

Love

Ok, it's Valentine's Day. Everyone around here is wearing red or pink or something. We talk about love and for some of us, it's a really good day.

For me? It's a good day.

I just got flowers. I'd love to post a picture of them for you, but alas, I no longer have a way to upload them from my camera to this computer. You'll have to wait (and I know that you are dying to see them ... hah!)

For too many years I told Max that we didn't have the money for things like this and he wasn't allowed to buy flowers for me. But, that time has passed. At least in his mind. And he couldn't stand it any longer, so he bought the flowers and had them delivered to me today. What a sweetheart.

Yes, I cried. It's what I do.

Random Thoughts

So, yes ... the previous blog was completely random. But, I was glad when the milk finally dried on my shirt. Sheesh ... I hate being a klutz!

It was actually a very busy day today. I guess I'm glad for them, but I do get worn out. I ended up working until 6:30 this evening. Now, you tell me what it is going to be like working an 11 1/2 hour day. Sheesh! I'm a little pooped. I should be crawling into bed right now, but here I am ... typing. As if I didn't spend enough time in front of the screen today.

Alison sent me a video link. It's gotten to the major news sites, so you might have seen it. A quadriplegic being dumped out of his wheelchair by a deputy in a police station. Don't you just love knowing that idiots are out there running our world?

If you have a few minutes, you have to check out this site. Lori Nix makes these amazing tabletop sets and then photographs them. I'm in love with this stuff. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I've always been fascinated with model railroad panoramas. I wanted to build them, but was never in a place where we had space. Ok, and I couldn't afford it all at the same time either. So ... at this point in my life, I have to simply enjoy other people's exhibits. I used to drag my poor nephew to a train cemetery in Golden, Colorado. We would traipse through the cars they were restoring and then spend time (and quarters) in front of these fabulous model train exhibits. He was good to his aunt.

I hope most of you know that I love Spongebob Squarepants. Cracks me up! Well, anyway ... this video is a riot. The actors who voice the cartoon re-voiced scenes from three classic movies (Casablanca, The Godfather and Singing in the Rain).

The writer's strike is over. Now, while I shouldn't be paying that much attention to the gossip out of Hollywood or even watching that much television, this has been really annoying in my world. For the first time in many years, there are some excellent shows on television. I'm totally addicted to Lost. And this article says I'm going to get some more episodes this year! Hello! I'm a bit excited about this!

I love sci fi art. This site has some ideas for space settlements. Now, that just makes me happy. Somebody buy me the calendar when it comes out? ok. .. just let Max know about it

Alright - that's enough random stuff for tonight, I need sleep!

Fruit Loops

For breakfast. Really ... could it get any better? Ok, it could get better. I could be eating these at 10 am this morning (having slept for 3 more hours) rather than at 7:30 at my desk. I've already gotten several tasks completed and then remembered that I had breakfast here. Whee! I don't know that I've eaten fruit loops for many years. Oh ... Julie shared some dry cereal with me one day ... Josh had brought it and didn't eat it.

(hmmmm ... well, that's going to make for an interesting day ... I just dumped milk all over myself. It's cold and wet. Which brings to mind another story - about milk, not 'cold and wet'. But, oh ... I could go to a story with that as well!)

Anyway. Fruit Loops. Introduced to the world in 1963. Wow, I do remember them as a child. They were a treat. We didn't get them very often, but we did enjoy them. And what a great smell! Open a box of fruit loops and it just pops out at you!

Alright, what's up with the 'never correct' milk to cereal ratio? I've never had a bowl of cereal where it worked out correctly in the end. No matter how hard I tried, I've never made it work. There's always too much milk left over. Oh well, sigh ...

And as for the other milk story. Never, NEVER ignore a milk spill. They must be cleaned up at all costs. I'm sure that you've smelled sour milk. If not, leave a carton in the refrigerator for several weeks past it's due date and open it. Yikes! When we were young in the printing business, we purchased a light table from friends. They warned us that a cup of coffee with cream had been spilled into the inner guts of the table. A light table - think of those light boxes they use to read x-rays - now, make it horizonal and much bigger. Well ... they had cleaned it up as best as they could, but there were cracks and crevices where the coffee obviously had traveled and they couldn't reach.

Every once in awhile, we would get a whiff of realllllly bad soured milk. Even after 20 years, you could still smell that awful stuff. So ... clean up a milk spill, the smell never goes away.

Well ... that's random thoughts for a Wednesday morning! Honestly, I need a nap.

What if the world ended tomorrow?

I'll bet you thought this was going to be a really religious post. Ummm ... not so much (yet. Who knows where I'll get by the end of this).

I've been watching the first season of 'Jericho' on cbs.com. The new season starts tomorrow night and I figured it was time to get caught up. Let me tell you about this show.

Location: Jericho - a small town in Kansas
Premise: the people of Jericho see a mushroom cloud (nuclear bomb) go off in the direction of Denver. They lose contact with everyone.
Characters: hot men, hot chicks, one FBI agent (are we sure? he showed up the day before the bomb went off), tough men, tough women, scoundrels, youth ... everything I knew from my days in small town Iowa. A pretty good cross-section.

Then, even though they made it through the bomb and there is no fallout, a plane flies over and there is an EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) that kills every electrical circuit. So ... nothing works.

We deal with the fact that the world is changed. People that are selfish become even more selfish. People that are gracious are extended beyond their limits. Law and order becomes nearly impossible. Greed sets in. Fear predominates. When refugees come to town, they are barely tolerated and are forced to sleep in the local church, even though there are homes in town standing empty since their owners were out of town at the time of the destruction.

News trickles in - these nuclear bombs went off in many cities around the country. The government is in turmoil. Raiders are on the highways. It's not safe anywhere.

I started watching this show when it started, but ended up falling away because it's not on a night that I'm usually home. But, I decided to try to catch up this weekend - and will Tivo the episodes for the new season. I managed to fully immerse myself in the storyline this weekend. And I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Last night, I laughingly told Max that my conspiracy theory brain was in overdrive. Maybe the government was in league with Hollywood - all of these 'survivor' type shows (LOST, Survivor, Jericho, etc.) are being shown because they know something we don't and they are trying to show us what could happen and help us become more prepared. HAH ... whatever.

But, at the same time, it really has gotten me thinking about the ease of our lives. We fully expect electricity to be on at all times in our homes. The internet has become our main tool for research and for many of us ... communication. We pull up to a gas pump and expect to fill our cars. When we walk into a grocery store, we want to have multiple choices for everything we purchase, we wouldn't know what to do with empty shelves. Most of us have cupboards stocked with plenty of food and our freezers are full. We turn on the faucet and receive clean water. We rely on the infrastructure of this country. We wouldn't know what to do without it. We have no plans to ever have to know what to do without it.

When we were warned about the Y2K crisis in 1999, we thought about it. When the planes hit the Twin Towers in 2001, we thought about it. And yet, we've put away our generators and emptied the water containers. We don't want to be considered nuts.

Yup, I'm an old lady with a bent towards conspiracy theories. And once I get past paying attention to this show, I'll set them aside and think about other things. But, today ... I'm wondering what would happen if the world as we know it ended tomorrow?

Watching Movies

I wasn't at work today. I decided to stay home and win the battle with the cold. While it isn't over with completely, I am much better. I slept a lot! Crawled out of bed about 9:30 this morning, took a nap this afternoon and another this evening. It's good to be a slug!

However, in between naps, I decided to watch a couple of movies. Max and I are Netflix members now and I've had a few of these sitting around for over a week. Either watch them or send them back and try again another day. The reason I was holding out was that I knew I would become emotionally involved in them. I'd been warned by people who know me well. It's also difficult to find a lot of extra time for me and Max to watch a movie together. So ... I figured if he really wanted to watch them, he could tell me.

Pursuit of Happyness. Will Smith and his son, Jaden. Living a life of struggle while he tried to pull them out of it. You see, I'm betting that the real Chris Gardener and his son have strong lives because of what they had to deal with ... together. I could go on and on and on and on and on (ad nauseum) about the kids that I am around today who have a sense of entitlement and have everything given to them. A life of ease does not make for a healthy sense of self-worth. And any parent that thinks they need to give that easy life to their children because they didn't get it, doesn't get it.

Great movie ... I didn't cry as much as I was afraid I would and I'm glad I finally saw it.

Blood Diamond. I didn't weep and cry as much as I was afraid I would in this one either, but only because the shock of the movie wiped me out! One of the lines in the movie resounded with me, "Will God forgive us for the terrible things that we have done to each other?" Again, I see that the greed and wealth of Western nations feeds upon the poverty and then the hideousness of humanity. We should be ashamed. We probably are ashamed. But, we set the shame aside and move on with our lives, forgetting things that should never be forgotten.

Poor Max called me to ask what he should bring home for supper - right at the end of that movie. Right when I was an emotional wreck. I'm sure he thought I was nuts. I tried to explain what was happening in my poor psyche, but he was so far removed from it, he didn't get it. He wants me to process on supper and I'm not done processing on destruction.

So, I'll send these back to Netflix and I'm hoping that something a little less emotional comes next. (yes, I know I can organize my own list ... but, isn't a surprise worth something?)

Too Good to be True

Ok, if you didn't know it ... I certainly knew that I wasn't going to be able to keep up any semblance of constant blogging. I'd like to think that I could maintain a state of continual blethering about what is happening in my world, but it's just not that interesting. If I'm not interested in it, there's no way that I can make it interesting to anyone else. So, there it is!

The end of the week is here and the beginning of the weekend is upon me. Whee!!! I plan to hide tomorrow, lead worship on Sunday, lead Bible Study Sunday night and the week will be back. That's alright. I enjoy my weeks at work. In fact, without them, I wouldn't enjoy my weekends quite so much! But, it's always good having a fun place to hang out at during the day.

We watched the opening episode of the new season of LOST last night. Well, well, well ... they managed to open up more parts of the mystery. It's going to kill me, it's going to kill me ... ok, here's hoping that if Jesus comes back before the mysteries are solved, He lets me in on the secret! It was a riot of a night though! We had praise band rehearsal at 5:30 - knowing that at 7:00, things would be starting on ABC. We thought it would be a great idea to gather a few of us (Jen, me, Max, Carol, Cody and Kristen) in the Youth Room to watch it together. We're all addicts. Max brought Mama's Pizza for supper. It was going to be great. Well ... we couldn't get to the television in the youth room ... weird keys, strange locks ... ack! We turned the televisions on in the hallways. Board of Trustees had let out, so we pulled the comfy chairs out of the conference room and started watching. Cody finally called his wife on her cell phone (he was still in the youth room trying to figure this out) and told her that he had it! So, off we went - curled up on the couches and watched the beginning of Season 4. We'd worked hard for it (Cody worked hard for it) and it was worth it. But ... yup ... too much mystery, not enough answers. This show is gonna kill me.

It's midnight - and I don't have to get up in the morning. But, I am a little tired ... so, I'm going to snuggle under some blankets and see what happens between now and tomorrow morning!

You'd think ...

I would go to bed. It's 11:15, I complain regularly about not getting enough sleep, and yet ... here I am wide awake! Since I'm never fully alert in the morning, I think I will try to get myself organized before crawling under the covers. Get the clothes out that I plan to wear tomorrow, ensure that I have all of the stuff ready to take to work and hopefully by that point I will be sound asleep!

You know, I don't think much happened today. On the work front, Cody and I finished up the 'Creative Suite Deadline' brochure. Whoopee! (not so much, eh?) On the home front, Max managed to blow a fuse just before he left to come get me, so we had to stop at Ace Hardware, pick up fuses and then I found my way through a darkened house to the basement to replace them. Yup, it's the joy of living in an old house. But, for my troubles, he went to Malara's to pick up dinner. The BEST homemade spaghetti noodles around.

I was talking to Pastor Craig today about restaurants - what we love, what we don't love so much. Max has always talked about the food in Atlanta and of course, Craig has lived there and decided that it was important for him to tell me about these great places that he and Amber used to frequent. Ummm ... Kenyan, Cuban, Persian food. Are you kidding? That would be so much fun!

Tomorrow night ... the beginning of the new season of LOST. I can't wait. Well, I can wait ... they are certain to introduce new mysteries and not clear up old mysteries. Now, while this certainly makes for a terrific show, it's driving me batty! And since we are dealing with the writer's strike, it will be a short season and we won't get too much information. But, I will be glued to the television set for the unveiling of the new mysteries. I doubt that the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 will make it off the island, but it's going to be entertaining to watch!

Whoops

Cold morning + Warm blankets + Warm Dog = Oversleep. omigawd, omigawd, omigawd!!

I really hope that I didn't forget anything important this morning in my mad dash out of the house. But, if I did, I suppose that it won't make any difference. What's done is done and here I am!

The good news is - I got an extra half hour of sleep. Actually I got an extra 2 hours of sleep. When I'm waking up at night, I will wake up at 4:30 and really never go back to sleep. So, this was spectacular!

So here I am ... at work ... I didn't get in too much later than normal, but it was certainly a quick moving morning!

Black Helicopters, Christmas Lights and Italians

See, here's the deal. If you want the weird things in my head, you have to put UP with the weird things in my head. Honestly, if I were to blog all of them, you'd probably be afraid for me. So, we have Canticum Novum rehearsal tonight ... all goes well. I leave. I'm going to Sonic for supper (at 9:30 pm - yup, going to sleep badly tonight). As I turn north on Saddle Creek, I see a Walgreens. "OH! I forgot that was there! Yea!" And I whip in (FYI, the car has not warmed up yet). I get out of the car, head inside for some important things (of which m&ms is included) and am greeted by a creepy Italian who is trying to vacuum the entry way. He promptly looks at the clock on the wall and then again at me. My immediate thought is, "Are you closing?" and I scurry to get what I need and then head for the candy aisle. As I was scurrying, it occurred to me that 9:30 is NOT a normal closing time for a Walgreens and that was weird! So, I slow down. He has just checked another customer out as I walk to the counter with my purchases and is back to vacuuming the entryway. Of course, he's annoyed as he has to walk ALL the way around the counter to get to the cash register. I understand that ... but, hey! So, he starts ringing up my purchases. Another customer walks in - he looks at them and then at the clock on the wall. Another customer walks in - same look. Now, it occurs to me that this is a bad habit of his - he should KNOW the time by this point. Oh, and I know that he's Italian because his name tag reads 'Gino'. All of my candy should be ringing up at 2/$4.00 or 2/$5.00, but he didn't bother to enter the proper codes and has to re-do everything, all the time telling me what a favor he's doing for me. When I thank him, he responds with 'That's what I'm here for.' And yes, that conversation occurred more than once.

There's the Italian.

From Walgreens, I went to Sonic - addiction to Strawberry Limeades is becoming quite prominent. Then, the drive home. The car is finally warming up - whee!!! I'm driving along, thinking of all of you and the grief I have gotten over not blogging. And, I think to myself, "If I had a way to blog while I'm driving or doing other weird things, you all would be sorry you asked for this!" And, I giggled.

I turned from Farnam on to 52nd Street and was startled by the Christmas lights that were still up. Full-blown Christmas. Really? I know it's too cold to take them down right now, but the last weekend was beautiful? Or ... maybe they are as lazy as Max and I are. Well, less lazy, because they got them up. We didn't even do that!

There are the Christmas lights.

Into the alley and I pulled into the parking space. The car is really toasty by now. Doggone it, I do not want to get out. But, I had coney dogs for Max and I knew that I had warm animals in the house for me. Argh ... here I go. As I opened the door of the car, I heard that noise - the helicopter. I live 10 blocks from the Med Center. I know that the helicopters flying over my house are generally medical flights, but black helicopters that spy on people in their homes is a conspiracy theory that Max and I have laughed over for years. Every time we hear a helicopter above us, we make a comment about them.

There's the black helicopters.

Now, I'm hoping that I have posted enough blogs for one day. If it's not enough, I'll try to be back tomorrow.

I go back and forth between light-hearted romps and deep, spiritual thoughts. If you can't keep up, I apologize. It's how I roll.

Who am I to Complain?

Well, that supposed to be the title of the last post, but I never got around to it! I started talking about spending time with Max in the car and got lost in the thought process ... so, I changed the title and realized that I still wanted to say something about complaining.

You see, I have no reason to complain ... about anything! Oh, I certainly could justify complaints, but that would be worthless. I have a terrific life. I'm sitting here at my desk with my arms wrapped around a cat while I type. He is purring away and nuzzling my nose. Since my nose is a little cold, burying it in warm cat fur is wonderful! Leica is curled up under blankets on my sofa and I'm thinking about my friends as I type this. Each of you! Ok, at least the ones of you that I know are reading this blog.

I'm a fortunate, fortunate person.

Max and I are beginning a purging process in the house. We have GOT to begin eliminating garbage, stuff and junk from our lives. As I sit here and think about the 'things' in this house that are important to me, I realize that there is nothing except the warm-blooded lives here that I couldn't easily give up. So, why am I holding on to all of this crap? I honestly have no idea.

Does anyone want a really nice collection of Department 56 Dickens Village? No, really - do you want it? Max needs to pack up his entire camera collection and send it off to a friend, I have books that need to be purged - some I will keep, many I will get rid of. There isn't anything in the house that is worth anything. It's pretty much just crap. But, at some point in my life, I had decided that it was important for me to have collections of crap and so ... here they are!

I seem to have collected all of the memory stuff of our family - old scrapbooks, etc. Oh my goodness. My dream for these is to get everything scanned and identified. Then, I will build a website that is interactive so our family can have access to the fun pictures and all of the stuff. But, it seems that every time I get working really hard on this stuff, my computer crashes and I have to start over. Oh, and then there's the whole thing with my dad dying and it's difficult for me to identify some of the things from mom's side. Yup, I have piles of this stuff around the house.

Then, there is music from a lifetime of ... well ... music. All of my classical piano books from my days of actually practicing the piano. I haven't looked at those in years, much less played from them. But, it kills me to get rid of them. I spent a lot of hours turning those pages as I practiced and practiced and practiced. I have shelves of choral music that I collected while directing choirs. Will I ever use it? Not likely ... Oh, and the shelves of wedding music and Christmas music and oh my GOODNESS! Make it stop!

I'm not much for garage sales - so, I'll have to start making some decisions about what to keep and what to toss, what to give away and what to sell Ebay, what goes to Goodwill and what goes into storage.

Too many decisions ... I need a wife!

But, as I look around while sitting here at my desk ... I'm awfully fortunate. I still have my nammynools and my husband, I have my family and my friends. I have a great job (so does Max) and a church that brings me fulfillment. I have the desire to spend time with God and read His Word.

Who am I to Complain about anything?

Choices and Consequences

Max picked me up from work at 5:00 and we drove home ... hashing out our day. This is one thing I will miss when we get two cars again. When we first got married, we only had one car and we spent an awful lot of time together in that one car. If we were going to do something, we had to do it together. It was pretty terrific. However, after awhile, we recognized the need for two vehicles. We both had our things to do - work hours no longer coincided, I had activities at church, he had other things going on - we needed two cars, so ... we got the second vehicle. You know what? I hated it! All of that time we had spent together was gone. We were both racing here and there and since we had the time to spend wherever we were at, we used the time doing our activities ... apart. All of a sudden we were spending less time talking to each other and more time passing each other as we did our things.

But, we got used to it and life became convenient. When I got rid of the second car last fall, it really wasn't that big of a deal. Max still wasn't working, we hadn't driven it in a long time and it was just taking up space in the driveway. And no, Cody, don't think for a minute that I want that silly thing back - YIKES NO!

Max and I spent time together talking again - oh, sometimes I babble at him and he just listens (you KNOW that's most of the time), and sometimes (in the dark, early morning) neither of us talk, but we are together. And I like that!

Yes, I'm going to get a second car as soon as we are financially able to do it. I can hardly stand these o-dark-thirty mornings. But I'm going to really miss these forced moments together. When we get home in the evening both of us will be tired from our day and we'll do what we are doing right now - one of us may head upstairs for a nap, or we'll turn the television on and let our minds release the stress of the day, or we'll both get online to ensure that the world didn't collapse around us in the previous 15 minutes. We won't sit in a car and for 15-20 minutes have no other distractions but each other.

As a friend of mine's father says, "Choices and Consequences..."

Guilt

See, I also feel really guilty about spending any time at working ... writing my blog. I know I should be working on things that are productive in my world. Now, I'll be honest with you, I pretty much work 10 hours days at a minimum, and I'm the ultimate multi-tasker (this morning I actually had four printers working at the same time from my computer ... life was good and getting complete!). So, why should I feel guilty? Well, you can blame Dad for that. If we EVER sat down on a Saturday morning and he happened to pass by, he'd ask us what we were doing and if there wasn't something we should be doing. If we deigned to look askance at him, he would find things for us to do.

Carol and I managed to carry that behavior into our adult lives and the idea of sitting around with nothing to do during the work day is difficult. For poor Carol, it's difficult for her to sit around doing nothing even into the evenings! Reading a book was fine, but we had to be doing something productive with our time.

When I was 'not working' last fall, I was actually staying quite busy writing my Revelation study. I got up in the morning and began researching or writing. Every day! I had people tell me that they couldn't believe I was actually able to stay disciplined about that habit. Oh my! I had owned a business for the last 20 years and before that I had been living in my father's home. I didn't have a choice with this. It was either stay focused and busy ... or scream! I made the correct choice.

All of that to say, I feel guilty for writing this blog at work. And I shouldn't. And I shan't. I remember making a conscious choice to eliminate guilt from my life when mom was dying. I recognized immediately that guilt was one of those things that took up time in a short life. And hey, most of my guilt through my lifetime was from mom ... if she was dying ... this emotion needed to die as well!

I suppose I should also do more blogging while at work. That's where and when all of the interesting things happen. By the time I get home at night, I struggle to recall the conversations and things of interest that happened to me during the day. Let me tell you, I have a LOT of conversations!

So, here's the deal. I have two thought processes pulling at me and I'm not being very successful in blending them: 1) Guilt over blogging at work, 2) forgetfulness and vegetative state at home.

Hmmm ... what will I end up doing?

p.s. just for those of you who don't know me very well ... I will probably end up doing the same thing I have since I started this blog. I don't enact change very well in my life ... status quo is what I do.

Taken to Task

Well, Julie got me in my last blog. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since the last time I blogged. Whoops! I told her I didn't have much to say. She commented that I probably had a lot to say, but didn't dare say it all publicly. I suppose she might be right. Yes, I remember my mother telling me that if I didn't have something good to say about someone, I shouldn't say anything at all. I also remember my mother telling me that I should never put something down on paper that I didn't want my father to read. Let me tell you, that certainly kept my diaries boring! I know that dad never would have even thought about reading my diary. Mom would have, though! And that would have gotten me in all sorts of trouble.

Honestly, though, I told mom a lot of what was going on in my life. There wasn't much she didn't know. She didn't approve of everything I did, but she didn't really give me a lot of judgment. She gave me a lot of guidance.

So ... back to why I haven't been blogging. Well, I moved from being an active participant in my evenings to a passive person. I've been watching LOST with Max so that we could get caught up before the season premiere this week. It's difficult to blog while watching that. I also watched Stargate: Atlantis. And, I discovered BONES (Fox). So ... my brain went into a vegetative state and I didn't do much constructive with it.

I've found a couple of blogs that are intriguing, read some good fiction, and I go to bed at night thinking about a world set far into the future and the characters, tensions and lives that I could create (I like dreaming up fiction). I've done a little knitting, and we signed up for Netflix ... movies are also coming in. Wow. This stuff isn't terribly conducive to good blogging!

Ok ... so, oops, I just discovered that they uploaded a brand new episode of BONES. Off I go!

Nap and a Limeade

You know, it really is the little things in life that make it easier to get through the day. I took a nap when I got home from work, went to Canticum Novum rehearsal and picked up a strawberry limeade from Sonic on the way home from rehearsal. These two things just made me smile this evening! I blame Julie (at work) for turning me onto these limeades. Hello! They're wonderful. We really don't have a Sonic close to us, but I made it work tonight.

We brought the little electric heater home from my office tonight. The house has been having a difficult time keeping up with this REALLY cold weather the last couple of days and I was tired of being frozen while hanging out in the evenings. I don't need or want a lot of heat through the night - we aren't around during the day, but those few hours that Max and I are home in the evening, I prefer warm to frozen!

I love the place that I live in, but yikes! there is no insulation in this place, the windows are drafty and it's just cold! Max and I have commented in the past that we aren't terribly worried about carbon dioxide poisoning - there's much too much air movement. It's all good, though.

Back to small things that make me happy. Do you know about www.shockwave.com? Great games. There is a jigsaw puzzle that refreshes daily. It's pretty cool and the rest of the games are fun, too!

Cat snugglies. Ever since Howard (the cat) died last fall, Ichabod (the mean cat) has been quite generous with his affection. Right now he is sitting in front of me with his paws on my chest, snuggling his face into my neck and purring like crazy. He doesn't much like it when I move too far, so I'm going to be stuck typing for a few minutes. I don't like it when he growls at me. (I just ticked him off and he managed to try to bite my hair - stupid cat. Thank goodness it was my hair and not my face!)

Blankets. I'm addicted to blankets. One of my favorite stores is the woolen mill in the Amanas (near Iowa City). I always end up buying blankets when I'm there. I have piles of blankets - quilts, afghans, lap blankets, on and on - all over the place. There is no such thing as too many blankets. Ok, I'm afraid that someday there will be too many, but right now ... I still have fun with them. My friend, Fran kept giving Max blankets for Christmas and I managed to abscond with them. Whoops! She was smart and finally gave me a cool Mexican blanket this year. Do I have to beg? (hehe)

Text messaging. I'm really bad at this - I haven't figured out how to do with any speed. But, I love it! I can get a message to Max and not bother him while he's working. He can choose to contact me when he is free.

Well, those are the random thoughts going through my brain tonight. It's time to upset the cat in my arms and head to bed. Tomorrow morning will be here whether I'm ready or not!