Friday, May 18, 2012

Freedom

I woke up late this morning because I didn't have anything pressing that needed to be written or read, thought about or processed.  I didn't have to think about how I would respond to classmates who posted thoughts that sometimes provoked me to fury or those whose comments were so nonsensical I couldn't make a reasonable response. The only thing I thought about this morning was how wonderful the breeze felt, how snuggly my cat was and how, not only today, but the next few days were mine, only mine.

When I open the Bible, there will be no one examining my thoughts. I won't have to write for a professor; I will write for myself.  I will no longer feel guilty about reading my Kindle for pleasure and can archive the textbooks that I had in there.

One of the things I learned about John Wesley this semester was that he didn't develop a system of theology as much as he lived out his theology.  For him, it was a practical matter, even though we've managed to systemize what he believed and taught.  Studying the development, current research and understanding of theology has nearly made me insane this semester. Until I took that class (Method and Praxis of Theology), I didn't realize how much I hate how we impose a construct onto our belief system.  I hate reading about it, I hate that is the way many people look at it.  I hate it.  I'm glad to be done with that class, and I'm glad that there are others who don't hate it like I do.

This semester I spent a lot of time immersed in the Minor Prophets (the last twelve books of the Old Testament) for my Inductive Bible study course. I remember a time when I had no idea what was in these books. I enjoyed this course, even though I spent more hours on it than any other.  Digging into those books and uncovering their relationship with each other and with the rest of the Bible was exciting for me.

Before I began this semester, I was a Wesleyan.  After taking the course on John Wesley's Theology, I consider myself more of a Wesleyan than ever before.  Understanding and learning about that man's work ignited a passion for his teaching, his sermons, his love of people that I've never had before. I am proud that I learned about God while growing up as a United Methodist.

This was one of the most intense semesters I've taken. There was no time to think about anything other than the coursework set before me.  The amount of reading I managed, the writing that was required, the exams that occurred, overwhelmed my mind to the point that I had no words of my own to share.  I ceased writing my Pour Out a Blessing blog, wrote only short snippets in emails, and did no journaling. Words drained out of me at an alarming rate, but I didn't get to share them.

The good news is that all it took was one night's sleep and a feeling of freedom to get things back on track.  During the semester, I managed to grab a few snips of ideas as they careened in and out of my mind.  I discovered that I had captured quite a few ideas for blog posts and other bits of writing.  I can hardly wait to get those fleshed out and into the open.

Oh ... and there's one more thing that I'm changing.  But, I'll tell you about that tomorrow.

Maybe I'll swing in the meadow today.

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

Oh I have missed those thoughts rolling through your mind....and the swing looks divine!!!

I love all your learning but I selfishly love your freedom! I hope your day is filled with the leisurely things you love!

Diane Muir said...

If I can just keep from posting everything today! My brain is running at the same level it has been for the last few months, but with no focus. It's so exciting!