Yikes!

It's been over 2 weeks since I last blogged. Really? Really? Well, that's what the calendar says, so it must be true. Lots of things have been happening, none of which are that big of a deal. I didn't sleep at all last week, so that meant that I had no energy in the evenings. Plus, there was just a lot of crap rolling around at work, so that meant I had no passion to give to anything else. I started twittering (really, just type in twitter.com and see what happens). You can find me at twitter.com/nammynools. What that means is that I 'tweet' what is happening during the day and then it's just not so important to type it all out again in a blog.

Hence ... it's been over 2 weeks since I last blogged.

What have I been doing to occupy myself? Well, I love hulu.com. Online television shows. I've been watching old episodes of Benson. Then, this weekend I discovered that they had uploaded the first season of Babylon 5. WHEE!! I loved that show. I have discovered a horribly addicting puzzle game - Patchworkz. I have started reading a very interesting book, "The thing about life is that one day you'll be dead." by David Shields. I'm not yet sure what I think about it. It's funny, it is informative. But the humor is sometimes really sad. Shields is a brilliant writer. I guess I was hoping to read this and think, 'this is the book I would have written.' It's not. It's the book he wrote. I'm halfway through the book and we'll see.

I'm re-reading "The Shack," and this time I'm highlighting and taking notes in the book. I have a few people asking me to write a study on it so that we can really delve deeply into the 'stuff' of a relationship with God. I'm about halfway through this book the second time.

I either have allergies or another annoying cold. This one is the rotten cough in the upper chest stuff. It doesn't make for great sleeping this week either, but at least once I get to sleep, I stay there.

I say it over and over again. I am so fortunate to be working where I work. It's unimaginable to me that I am encouraged to speak of the things of God in my workplace. To be able to talk to my boss about how trusting in God to walk with us through fire is incredible. I am so grateful. I get so mad sometimes at work - I want everyone to 'get it' and do and say the right things. Then, I get into a conversation like I had today and realize that God is always here and He's got it under control.

I woke up Sunday morning in a foul, foul mood. No one had done anything to me. I don't know if I had a dream that I didn't recall or what. But, I was feeling mean and ugly. I had to lead worship that morning and there was no part of me that wanted anything to do with that. As the water was pouring over my head, I knew that I had to start asking God to deal with this for me. Every time I tried to get myself under control, nasty thoughts crept in and distracted me. They just kept bringing me back to that foul mood. I prayed all the way out to church. I was doing better by the time I got there.

But, then I had to lead the hymn sing prior to the 9 am service. Trust me, I was still praying. After the hymn sing, I had to open the service, do the announcement, be pleasant, play for the middle school choir, have praise band rehearsal, and then come out, open the second service and then lead worship. I was praying a lot! Things kept tripping me up. But, as I began with that hymn sing, I paid attention to what God was saying to me. It seemed as if every song that the congregation chose to sing dealt with trusting Jesus. I knew that God was listening to me and speaking back to me. 'Trust me. Not yourself, Not anyone else. Trust me.'

Now, I'd like to tell you that the rest of the morning went without a hitch. But, that's not necessarily true. However, what did change was my attitude. Instead of trying to get myself out of the funk that I was in, I simply trusted God. It wasn't mine to deal with at that point. It was a great morning.

Alright ... time for me to hit the sack and rest my ole' body before facing another day.