Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Need a Sign

On my Pour Out a Blessing blog this last month, I've been writing (and reading) a lot about how God has revealed Himself to man - the different ways the revelation has happened and the mysteries that surround Him.

Right now, I would love to have Him make a few things clear to me. Like what I'm supposed to do with myself when I grow up. There, that's a big one!

You'd think that at my age, I'd have it all figured out. That I'd be comfortably settled into a career and be planning my retirement and old age.

Yah - that's not happening. First of all, I do not intend to look at the next thirty years of my life as if they are the waning years of my life. I look back at the last 30 years and realize that I had a whole lot of YOUTH going on. Everything that entails. I'm hoping that the next 30 years I'll actually put into practice some of what I've learned through the mistakes I made, the people I trusted (and maybe shouldn't have), the people I didn't trust (and absolutely should have), the crazy decisions I made - on and on.

I don't want to begin acting like I am going to die. So, what in the world am I going to do with this!

I missed a lot while spending 20+ years owning a business. Oh, don't get me wrong, I did a lot, met a lot of wonderful people, established some good things in my life. But, there are things that I should have been doing while I was tied to that place.

Now, you have to know that I realize God was trying to get us to deal with closing that business long before I was ready to give it up, so I know that God had other plans for me while I was trying to make my own plans work out. What I wish is that He might have actually specifically said to me, "Diane, I would like you to do _______." Then I would have done that and all would be well between us, right? Uh huh.

Life doesn't work that way for me - for any of us.

So, here I am. Really God? Just a hint? I really would love a sign. And please, not one that's going to hurt me when it hits me in the head?

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Amen to all of that..a few years ago I thought I had it all figured out and God has time and time again shown me that I am clueless...I thought my life was going to be like that game we used to play called capture the flag... but it seems it is really just a glorified version of mother may I..definately keeps things interesting but makes me pretty reliant on him because I only know the next two steps...

The thing is I do hope you get that sign but selfishly I want you to stay in the game with me because I love hearing your narrative as you walk through it.. I selfishly have come to enjoy nibbling on the fruit of your success and failures and they have pushed me along and kept me from throwing in the towel a few times and going to sit on the sidelines!