Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Movement of life

Today has been rather uneventful. I had to buy a new coat since I don't intend to freeze to death in Chicago. It was time. The weather keeps getting cooler and cooler - I am beginning to get the idea that summer and fall are passing into winter.

I listen to people complain about the cold and worry about winter and find myself giggling. It's as if everyone forgets that seasons change in Nebraska and Iowa e
very year without fail. I really do love watching cycles and at my age, I recognize more than I probably should. I think it gets harder and harder for me to face January 1 each year as I foresee the speed with which the next year will pass. In fact, I suspect that it's more difficult for me to watch the New Year come and go than it is for me to deal with my birthdays. It's become a silent tradition for me to welcome the New Year by wondering just how quickly March 1 will be here and then watch the entire year skip past me before I even realize it.

But, I didn't begin this post to complain about the speed with which life passes me by. I was thinking about cycles and movement of life. As much as I hate the extreme heat of summer, I know that it actually only lasts a few days. Other days are temperate and soon fall will arrive with a crisp chill in the air. When I hate the ice that makes it difficult to move around, I know that in only a couple of days the sun will have cleared it away and we will have forgotten the stress of the storm. Nothing lasts forever.

I remember the most stressful days at Insty-Prints, thinking that time would pass, situations would work themselves out and there would come a time when I would look back and realize that I had forgotten the details of the crisis.

As I look back over my life (lo, these long 50 years), I realize that I don't see huge ups and downs. There are some bumps and ditches along the way, but those immense crises that I suffered through have evened out over time and I've either forgotten about them or things occurred after that point to make them seem much less important.

Hah - I remember having one of the most embarrassing incidents of my young life when I was in high school. For years every time I would think about it, my face would flush with embarrassment. But, now I wonder what I was thinking! It was a non-incident, not important in the scheme of my life and not worth my worry.

This kind of thinking makes it easier for me to think about my future. What I'm going to do with myself. Education? Job? If I hiccup along the way, it won't really change much. In five to ten years, I will look back on this time and it will all be part of the cycle of my life.

I guess it is time to start deciding where I'm going to get the next part of my education! I want to be able to look back from somewhere else other than right here in the same place.

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