If you read yesterday's post, you might have felt sorry for me. Oh, please never do that unless I specifically tell you to do so. I whine a lot for no good reason and generally get over it pretty quickly!
I used to drive my mother nuts. I moved 6 1/2 hours away from home for my first 'real' job. I was the Christian Ed and Music Director in a Methodist church in Spencer, IA. It was pretty darned lonely. I knew no one except the senior pastor. But, he was an aloof sort of fellow and his wife was weird, so I was alone.
Mom and I talked on the telephone all the time. When things would get stressful, I would call her and completely unload on her, sobbing and crying and freaking out and on and on and on ... What she didn't know was that once I unloaded, I was much better! I just needed to say all of my stuff out loud and the pain of it would begin going away. However, she just absorbed it all and began worrying about me and wondering how she could fix it for me. She would get off the telephone and go into complete 'mom-worry' mode.
We would talk the next day and I would be rambling on about all of the things going on in my life and she would stop me. "But, what about ...? Are you ok? How are you going to handle...?" Whoops. She was still processing on the conversation we had the day before and I had stopped processing on it once I had spoken the words.
She yelled at me once about it. She was pretty annoyed with me. I laughed at her. I knew that was her job and she knew that was her job. She just didn't like that job!
So, what's up with the title of this blog? Well, after feeling sorry for myself last night, I decided to see what I could do about that. It's my fault that I've pulled away from listening intimately to God. So, it's my responsibility to find a way to open my heart again.
This morning I was laughing with Him (God) about the insanity of my life. I turned a corner and breathed out, "Ok God ... what's next?" and a van cut in front of me with the license plate "PTL 990".
PTL = Praise the Lord. 990 times. That's all I heard from Him. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Are you kidding me? Of course! That only makes sense. When I am praising Him, I am not thinking about myself. When I am praising Him, I am not worrying about my stuff. When I am praising Him, it's all about Him.
1 comment:
So, Diane....without even knowing it you wrote this post just for me :-) Wow! You just completely discribed my life in a nutshell. And to think that God spent a whole season telling me to "Be Still and know..." My listening skills fail me. I guess that is why he created us to be human 'beings' and not human 'doings.' Thanks for your insights!
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