Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Mother's Day

I usually ignore Mother's Day. I don't hate the day ... there are a lot of moms that are my good friends and I'm happy that they get a chance to be honored. I think they should be honored. But, it's a day that no longer holds a ton of meaning for me. Mom died in 1987 and since I was never a mom, I just let the day be another Sunday in the year.

Since mom died in March, we had our first holiday right away without her. Now, we were handling things pretty well by that point. The ladies in the church had their eyes set on Dad. What a great catch he would be and there were a lot of widows and single older women that wanted a shot at a man with a solid career. It was a riot.

But, there had been a pact among them to wait at least one year after mom died before they set their sites on him. However, there was one woman who was pretty bright about the whole thing. She invited us over for dinner on Mother's Day since we wouldn't have anything to do and we might be missing mom. It was adorable. Carol and I just giggled as she puttered around her little home trying to ensure that Dad was comfortable.

By the next Mother's Day, Dad was married to Priscilla. There wasn't a single woman in that church who didn't bemoan that fact. They were a little crushed that Dad hadn't waited the year that they were giving him before they began to put the moves on him. He wasn't stupid. He knew it was coming and planned to avert it as quickly as possible.

Twenty-two years later, I still remember that first year after mom died. There was a lot of pain, a lot of grief, a lot of laughter, a lot of memories. There were changes and new lives to be started.

Mother's Day was the first realization for me of those changes to come. It's not a bad memory, it's kind of a funny memory. I still think about her a lot and miss her regularly.

Love your mothers this year. Tell them over and over how important they are to you and remember with them the wonderful things you have experienced together. If all of the things you have aren't wonderful, remember the few that are. Trust me, it's better to love and forgive if you can. Memories last a lifetime.

No comments: