Sunday, October 17, 2010

Games People Play

I know ... I know.  I've not attended to this blog well in the last few days.  I didn't really ever consider that I would get to the point where there were no more interesting words in my head.  But, wow ... when they start dragging words out of my head at an alarming rate, I seem to evaporate into blackness up there.

I am posting some on my other blog - Pour Out a Blessing.  You will find more of the day to day things that I'm learning in my classes there.  I don't post that link too often on Facebook and Twitter, but if you want to receive an email from me every day with that blog post, just let me know your address and I'll get you on the list!  You can send me an email at nammynools (at) cox (dot) net.  That's where I've pulled apart a lot of scripture and hopefully you can learn with me as I go.  I will warn you, there are days you have to go through my Greek lesson with me.  I try to make it as painless as possible, though.

Would you believe that my favorite class is Greek? I think it might be because it's so straightforward.  There are rules and things to memorize.  I either get it or I don't.  If I don't get it, I keep plugging away until I do.  The other courses I'm taking are a bit more subjective and I'm finding that it's not necessarily thinking outside the box, it's more like trying to figure out which way they want me to think so that I can make the grade happen.  I suppose I knew that was the probability - however, I think it is one of the most horrendous things happening in education today. 

I was telling Carol last night that this is a frustration for me.  I spent the first 25 years of my life figuring out what the game was and then playing it very well so that I could ensure success.  At some point in the last 25 years I began rebelling against the game and found a desire within myself to see if I could change the game so that more people could understand what the rules were and maybe more people would be able to play.  If I could effect change, I gave it my best shot.  More often than not, I found that I was eliminated from the game before I was finished, but every once in awhile, I'd look into the playing field and find that subtle differences were showing up and the change had actually worked.  I just needed to get out of the way.

But, being back in an institution forces me back onto an unfamiliar playing field.  I'm doing my best to understand the rules, but I still get really annoyed at the fact that they really exist in all of their colorful glory! 

Carol told me it would be best if I just accept it for the next few years - get through the program without upsetting the referees and once I was on the other side, if given the chance, go for the changes.  We'll see.

She's right, though.  I had a few days last week of pure frustration.  A large institution doesn't give a hoot in hell if I don't like the way they organize their rules - even if I see that it would make so much more sense to rearrange them.  I'll play for awhile.  I'll keep getting frustrated.  Every once in awhile I have fun playing ... maybe as I get used to it, I'll find other ways to keep myself entertained.

Do you have a game you have to play?

1 comment:

Higgiq said...

I keep going over this with Erin. It doesn't matter what you think or know to be right. What matters is what your teacher wants. Erin has this problem with English teachers a lot because she has a hard time with the 'meaning' of stories. She often thinks the teachers are WRONG! But that is not how you pass the class.