Monday, April 02, 2007

God takes my breath away

I sent this as a thank you to the ladies of my Monday night study. God talks to me in the most amazing ways! They gave me a cash gift tonight as a thank you for presenting the Revelation study and as encouragement. Nothing I could have expected ... but, it wiped me out. Here's why!

Now, for the real thank you. I have to tell you that you (and God) really took me aback this evening when you gave me the incredible gift. You see, there’s more to the story and I was just barely putting it all together when I opened the card. So … here’s my story (like you don’t know that I always have one).

As we have been praying for the church and the congregation, one of the things last week that I was praying for was Commitment Sunday. I’m just beginning to learn the importance of tithing. Though I’ve grown up in the church, actually tithing was not part of my world. Mom and Dad did, and He always encouraged me to, but I resisted. This year, Max and I decided to begin tithing, even though he is without the promise of a job. I filled out my “Forecast of Giving” card, and placed it, along with the first ‘tithe’ check in the baskets yesterday at church.

Last night, as I was getting ready for work, I was writing checks out to pay bills and starting to really stress about finances again. We’re ok – please don’t worry about us. But, we’re still recouping after having me off work for 5 months and we’re dealing with disability (60%) pay for Max right now. It’s not just … smooth … Things are tight, but not awful. This morning as I was driving to work and was thinking about things I would do without this week … and how to time out the checks so that everything would hit the account correctly, I decided to get whiny and snotty with God. (I was yelling at Him) “So! I finally get on board with the whole tithing thing and now I’m going to struggle even more to make things good, eh? That’s how it works? I’ve been faithful in everything You’ve called me to do and I’m still stressed about finances?” Now, realize this was a split second conversation and as soon as it was out of my mouth, I felt awful. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I know that You are God and that You have everything in Your hands. I’m sorry!”

And, I went to work and promptly forgot about the conversation and all of my worries, because I do know that God takes care of everything. He gave me peace – even without knowing what was going to happen next.

Until tonight – when I opened the card … and there was an amazing gift from you all. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. As soon as I was alone in the car, I did both. Thank you for the financial gift, but more than that, you have to know that you all were an answer to a prayer that I sent to God. I didn’t ‘need’ it to happen in my world, but I guess that God wanted me to know that His faithfulness is greater than my whining and complaining.

And that only tells me that tithing is now a long-term part of my life! Whether or not God ever does this again, I don't care. My faithfulness will never outdo His faithfulness!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what an amazing story!! God is Good - ALL the time. -- ap