Wednesday, April 11, 2007

On my mind

Goodness! This morning as I was waking up and drifting off, I slipped into dreamland. I dreamt about an old boyfriend - Rick. I haven't thought of him in years. Before I got married, I would dream of him regularly - how he had come back into my life and we got to know each other again. My heart still maintained a memory of the love we shared.

Rick and I were together for 5 years, my first true, deep love. I was a senior in high school when we started dating and we were together all through my college years. He was a great guy. His mom didn't like me much. I could never figure that out. Every other mother in town prayed for their son to date the preacher's daughter - I didn't like any of them. But, for some reason, Rick's mom wasn't terribly comfortable with our relationship. Ok, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was a year older than he was. Oh well ... sigh.

We broke up after I graduated from college - he was working in Minnesota, I was not even in Sigourney anymore (where we went to high school together). It was difficult and our time together had ceased. We saw each other only twice more after that - both of those meetings were difficult.

I realized this morning that I have been missing him all of these years. How do you have an intense five year relationship with someone and then walk away. I had been angry with him, sad because of the loss, but I have never been able to say "You were a big part of my life and I appreciate what you meant to me then."

Oh, I've moved way past where I was then. I know that God's plan for my married life has been fulfilled in Max. I don't want any of you to think that I'm yearning for a past relationship. Good heavens, no!

But, I want to know if he's ok. I want to know if he's happy. I want to know what he's doing and I want to know about his family. I don't know where he's living, I know nothing about him.

So, this morning as he was on my mind, I prayed for him. For his family, for any needs that he might have, for joy and peace in his heart. You see, I don't know if God put him on my heart his morning for that reason or what? I haven't been thinking about my past much more than I usually do and I really haven't been thinking about Rick. But there he was. So, dear Lord ... if He needs anything or is worried about anything today ... be near.

1 comment:

Jacqniel said...

God placed him on your heart for a reason. Prayer was a wise choice. It will be interesting to learn if you ever have your questions answered.