Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Think I should focus? Nope ... want it all!!!

I figure that I am going to go up and down, back and forth and all over the place before I finish up this portion of my education.  It's going to be fabulous! 

This has always been my problem.  I can't choose one specific thing that I want to learn.  I've always envied those that are so concentrated on one discipline that they become celebrities in their field.  That will never be me.  I have this incredible desire to know everything ... at least enough about everything so that I can learn more.

As I study Greek, I realize how much more I want to know about that language.  Every time I wrap my head around a concept or focus on vocabulary, I feel a thrill.

Yesterday as I began to understand what 'textual criticism' is - digging into the Greek manuscripts to discern copy errors, transcription errors, scribal changes, comprehending the style of the author, etc., etc. - I got a little bit high as I realized that I could easily get lost in that discipline for the rest of my life and be extraordinarily happy.  So, I chased off down that bunny trail for a while, happy as a lark.

I read about how to comprehend and learn about the culture of the New Testament and find that I want to understand as much of that as possible, so that I can make sense of the concepts hidden in that understanding for teaching purposes.  Oh ... that's just exciting stuff right there!

As I look through the books which will help me dig deeply into the Gospel of Matthew this fall and recognize the general ideas behind this learning, I want to be able to process it all so that I can translate it for everyone, not just a few seminary students.  I could find myself digging into that forever.

Then there is the comprehension of seeing how cultures other than North American / Western / white upper/middle class people read their Bible and how they see things differently in the story.  Oh, I want everyone to understand that so that we aren't so self-centered as we read the Bible.

Every single course I take throughout these next few years is going to stir the desires of my heart regarding how to share this information and what I could possibly do with it for the rest of my life.  Maybe there will come a point when I can look at one discipline and say, 'Yes!  That's it!!' but I'm betting that doesn't happen.

If you read this blog and I begin to tell you how I think I've finally found my focus, just chuckle and know that within a few months (maybe only a few days), I'll have made a different decision.  I hope that by this point in my life, I get it about myself.  I really want to know it all ... I will never be a single-discipline type of person.

So, what am I going to do with this?  How in the world am I ever going to move on and build a career?  I have absolutely no idea.  Fortunately, I don't have to.  It's a good thing to know that God's in charge of this.  It really helps me not worry so much.  All I have to do is absorb what He puts in front of me.

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