Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The heart - Love and Attack

Yesterday I got an email forwarded to me that told me one of my favorite people had a heart attack last Friday.

Sonna Jennings was my mother's best friend. They were so close that they even had rather wild fights ... not arguments, but fights. Two very passionate women in the same room with very strong opinions. God blessed their relationship. The first person I wanted to call when Dad died was Sonna. I haven't seen her in years, and we don't talk all that often anymore, but she has been a solid part of my life. She spoke at Dad's funeral ... she desperately wanted everyone to know how God had changed her life through Dad's ministry. And she was the one person who presented the gospel and invited people at the funeral to meet Jesus.

Her daughter emailed me to let me know what had happened. Heart attack on Friday in a little town in Iowa, ambulance ride to Iowa City (1 1/2 hours) because Sonna flat out refused life flight. 4 major blockages, nearly lost her on the table and home on Monday because medicine has progressed so well.

I didn't call her yesterday - not wanting to interrupt, so I called today. I had a difficult time all morning until I got a chance to talk to her. I couldn't think about her without getting all teary. I simply was being selfish. I did not want to deal with one more hideous pain in my life. I was so thankful to hear her voice. And she sounded wonderful. In fact, she says that she feels better than she has in a long time - her heart is working pretty well now and getting the heart back in shape after years of deterioration is going to give her a lot of energy!

She told me about the experience and the fact that she nearly died twice during the entire episode on Friday. She was surprised that she lived through it. And then, last night when she was finally quiet and away from the insanity of a hospital, she asked God why. And He told her that she wasn't done working for Him yet - she had a lot of people that needed to hear from her about how God worked in her life.

That got me thinking. I was told by God long ago that He had a plan for me. There were several life-saving events in my life before I got out of high school. God's hand was definitely on my life and when I questioned him about what He wanted from me, He told me! It wasn't profound in the large sense of the world, but it was very profound in the sense of what God's plan for mankind is. All God asked me to do was to teach 'love'. That's it ... nothing more, nothing difficult ... just love.

Now ... it is easy for me to love. I don't put a lot of qualifications on it ... I just love. But, let's not get too excited about this. Because along with that beautiful aspect of my life, I have all of the rest of the garbage that goes along with being Diane Muir. And that's where I think I fail miserably in the task that God set before me. I'm a gossip, I'm a bit cynical, I have a foul mouth, I don't spend enough time in the Word, my prayer life totally stinks sometimes, I get too busy to care for the people in my world ... on and on and on. How in the world can I teach love when my life is a cesspool?

THIS is why God calls us to perfection. This is why I constantly strive for that goal. Not so that I can be perfect on my own, but so that people will see God's love through my life without the fog of my 'stuff' surrounding it. Will I ever get there? Oh, I doubt it - I have a lot of work to do. But, as long as I'm working toward it - I pray that God will bless people around me. And when I screw up completely ... I pray that God will hide it from those who would be wounded and allow me to figure it out, get back on the path and keep moving forward.

Isn't He wonderful?

1 comment:

Jacqniel said...

Truly wonderful.
I too am having problems with my prayer life. I talk with God, but lately I haven't been very good about a dedicated prayer time and really getting deep with Him. I feel exhausted right now emotionally. So my prayer is that He ignite a spark in me to WANT to pray.