The Desert

Sometimes insanity hits and you wonder if God really means it. Am I meant to sit here and be driven nuts? Is it really true that I have to put up with a load of horse patootie? And if God says He's hanging out close by, why can't I feel Him? And why is it that everyone around me is in the same place?

Ok ... enough, Diane. For heaven's sake! You have a few crappy days and you are going to start pulling this garbage? Puhleeze.

What do YOU do when you feel like you've entered the desert and there is no oasis in sight? Normally, my response would be to get angry and hide out. Oh, don't think I wouldn't be praying. I always pray. But, my prayers get really self-centered. It's all about me and not so much about God. I talk to people that are in the middle of the garbage with me and we have a hard time pulling each other out. It goes from bad to worse.

But, not this time. I decided that I was going after a pray-er that rocks my world! I sent the email and then I started praying. God talked to me on the way home from work and I knew that I had to send her another quick email to rescind my rant. But, God had gotten to her first. And told her exactly what to say to me.

Verse by verse, she wiped me out with scripture. Not yelling, but reminding me and letting me know that attacks come - sometimes before a big event and many times after. Beforehand to stop the power and afterwards to steal the joy. My joy was creeping out the back door today ... I'd held on alone for too long by myself and I was letting the crap overtake me.

And He sent another friend into my office to just bounce in and remind me that there are other good things happening in my life.

I'm a moron. I'll admit it freely. But, I'm a moron that God loves and even when I'm a whiny, rotten tomato (visualize that, won't you?) He sends hope and joy to me. Whew! I'm a bit ashamed.

Funniest remark today: Max called when I was coming back from lunch.

M: Now, I'm kind of being funny, but don't get upset.
D: Uh oh, what's up?
M: What did you do to piss Satan off today?
D: What? (giggling a little)
M: You know that 300 gigabyte hard drive that we store our entire music library on? It's dead.
D: Are you kidding?
M: Nope. Totally dead. Everything on it is gone.
D: Tell me you have backup!
M: Sure. It's all backed up.

Ok ... so, we have to replace a $150.00 hard drive, but I will never forget Max asking what I had done to piss Satan off. Gotta love the man!