Fire or Ice

"Christ was in agony in prayer, Luke 22:44. Many when they are in prayer are in lethargy, than in agony. When they are about the world, they are all fire; when they are at prayer, they are all ice."

--Thomas Watson

This quote kind of freaked me out this morning. Well, not really freaked me out, but definitely encouraged me to think about where my passions lie. I have been searching for quite some time (years) for the reasons behind my less than stellar prayer life.

I talk to God all day long. In fact, if He couldn't automatically 'know' what was happening in my life, He'd know because I'm always talking about it. He hears everything! It's actually become a fairly mundane part of my days. In some ways that's awesome. In other ways, it tells me that I'm taking the Creator for granted. Oh good heavens, that is NOT a good thing! I certainly don't appreciate it when I can sense that Max takes me for granted. That I'm just going to be there to listen while he babbles on and on and on and on. I love him, so I do listen and try not to complain.

But, there's no passion in any of that. Christ had such amazing access to God, yet his prayer was one of agony. The great thing about this is that God encourages us to get deep into prayer and doesn't leave us alone while we do it. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26.

How do you pray? Do you treat prayer as if it is another thing to check off your list of 'to do' items and when you are done, you forget the time that you spent in prayer? I think I'm going to try to drag my memory back to junior high, the sensations and feelings of getting to know a new boyfriend. I treasured every moment we spent together. I love being with God!