Tuesday, August 19, 2008

On being at home ...

Here are a few things I've noticed about myself during the weeks since I left my job.

1. My body clock now rules. I stay awake until 3 am and get up at 10:30 am. I'm much happier. Not necessarily more rested, but happier.

2. If I don't shower and get dressed right away, I get nothing done. I spend time trying to encourage myself to get moving and end up wasting time away.

3. All of the trash that I threw away at work is now in my home space, there is always a full trashcan!

4. I have not done all of the big, profound home cleaning/reorganizing/redecorating projects. I believe that tomorrow will be filled with time to do those things.

5. Leica gets more attention from me. I have time to take my dog and my Kindle to the front stoop and read while she sleeps in the shade.

6. I haven't gotten more holy. You'd think I would have more time to pray and read my Bible and do all of those holy things. Not so much.

7. I like the telephone even less. I've said it before, I'll keep saying it. I'm a hermit.

8. With my weird hours, I actually have time to read. Books. Again. I can't believe the number of novels I have plowed through. It makes me feel like a real human being again.

9. My mind is quieter.

10. I actually haven't lost track of the day ... too often. This morning, I asked Max why he was up so early when he woke me up. It was 6:52 and made no sense to me. He stumbled around in the conversation, confused. It occurred to me to ask him what day it was. I thought it was Sunday.

11. I'm still barefoot, but I tend to hurt my feet more often when I'm outside with Leica. I should learn to put shoes on - but, I won't.

12. It's strange to get in the car and drive around the city during the day. I wonder what other people are doing. Are they working? Playing? Getting from one job to another? I never used to care.

13. I have not become the amazing cook for my husband that I probably should be. I have the time, but not the inclination.

14. I'm beginning to see my obsessive, compulsive side return. It's slow coming back, but I remember it used to exist years ago - before I had so many things on my plate that I could no longer carry it. And don't worry, Diane's OC side is a good thing.

14. Life isn't necessarily slower, but so much more enjoyable. It's peaceful. I will cut back on everything that I can to maintain this lifestyle. And I wonder why we press ourselves so hard to achieve a media-driven American dream. We miss the simple joys because we speed past them.

So, now it's time to get moving. I've been awake for awhile and spent some time writing this blog. I think there are other things I should be doing. Or not.

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