When I was 8 years old, we discovered that I had a serious heart condition. It’s called Paroxysmal Atrial Tachycardia. Essentially a nerve would trigger the atria of my heart into rapid beating. If unchecked, it would continue to beat at over 250 beats per minute. I was rushed to University of Iowa hospital, injected with digitalis (that was the worst part of the entire experience, my upper thigh hurt for days from that injection) and monitored closely. Due to the length of time that my heart had been pumping, my parents were told that if I didn’t die, I would have severe heart damage.
The most profound memory of that hospital stay for me was of my parents kneeling at my bed praying. They alternated in my room, but that first night, both of them were on their knees praying beside me as the nurses came and went and as I tried to sleep.
They never despaired, they simply prayed. I didn’t die and as the doctors monitored my heart, they came back to my parents simply astounded. My heart was normal. After only 4 days, I was sent home with a prescription for digitalis and methods to bring the heart back to normal when it began beating too rapidly. Mom unintentionally scared the living daylights out of my teachers by telling them that if it were to happen in class, I needed to be taken to a quiet space so that I could calm myself and bring my heartbeat down. Every time I raised my hand to go to the bathroom, I was quickly escorted out of the room. It’s a good thing I was such a responsible child (no, I’m not being facetious). It never occurred to me to abuse the privileges I was given. Those were some terrified teachers!
The doctors told us that I would eventually grow out of the worst of it, but that it would be something I needed to watch for the rest of my life. By 6th grade, I was taken off digitalis and though I still deal with it once in awhile during times of great stress or intense exhaustion, it is no longer a threat to me.
The hope that my parents placed in God for my healing was answered in a glorious manner for them and for me. It’s one of the stories that we tell over and over as a celebration of God’s grace in my life.
There is no way to tell you that life is going to be perfect. If you continue to read through the Psalms, you see David dealing with things that aren’t specified, but are obviously painful to him. While things may not be handled according to our desires, as long as we trust in a God who gives us hope, we find that we get from one day to the next.
It is hard to accept that this life we know so intimately is just a flicker in the eternal life for which we are meant to live. We want everything to be perfect, or at least a bit easier for us while we live on this earth. We want our families and friends to be healthy and live good lives. We don’t want to see people in hardship and we certainly don’t want to face any of that ourselves. When we do, we allow despair to take over and we question God regarding His love for us.
We see only minutiae. Just a speck of the large picture. In our selfish minds, we expect God to make everything perfect for us – because it is all about us. If God doesn’t make it perfect, then we try to ensure our version of perfect.
If Job had never faced despair, he would never have known hope. If David had never sinned against the Lord, he never would have been known as a ‘man after God’s own heart.’ If Daniel hadn’t been captured by Nebuchadnezzar, he would never have been able to give his people visions of hope for the future. If Jeremiah had not been called to minister to a people in captivity, he would never have given us these words,
“This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity.’” (Jeremiah 29:10-14)
I love the order of events in that passage. Listen to it again – just this part.
“I know the plans I have for you – plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God plans to give us hope and a future. And then, he says.
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity.”
See, God gives us hope first. When we’re at our lowest point and we call out to him, we’re doing so because we have hope. We hope that He will take us from the point of despair to a place where we see our future again.
For most of us, we have to be at that point of despair before we shut our eyes and ears to the chaotic noises of success.
When my heart was beating rapidly, I had to get to a quiet, dark place so that I could concentrate on bringing my heartbeat back to normal. I had to shut out the noises of the world and take away visual stimulus.
When I despair and see no way possible for me to fix what is happening in my life, I have to get to a quiet place. Away from everything and then I hear from God. He promises me that he has my future well in hand. His plans for me don’t include harm.
God doesn’t give us hope after we call on Him. He gives us hope so that we can call on Him.
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