Saturday, June 14, 2008

Slow Down

"Goodness and mercy are following you today... they are hot on your heels!"

I just read those words on Israel Houghton's Twitter. They stopped me.

The images in my mind were of me on a mad dash through my day - flames coming out of my heels as I ran through all I had to do. Goodness and mercy ... and all of the other blessings that God tries to rain down on me were barely keeping up. I would duck and cover, darting here and there. Always avoiding the touch of God because I was intent on doing things my way. I can't slow down enough to fully embrace all that He is offering me.

Until about 5 years ago, I had never heard of the Desert Fathers, monastics that lived in the desert of Egypt beginning in the 3rd Century. That's weird for me, because I search out information regarding spirituality, church history, etc. How did I miss this? But, since the first time I heard a passing reference to this group of people it has become increasingly important for me to learn about them - their teachings and experiences.

I don't want the ascetic lifestyle. I don't believe that God is calling me to that. And if He is, He needs to speak a lot louder than He is right now. But, I'm not at all surprised that He might be calling me to the life of a hermit. For heaven's sake, my family has long believed that is what I want to be. But, my lifestyle and choice of activities has forbade it. I fill up every evening with activities, I am on the go during the week from 7 am - 10 pm. Thank goodness I never had children. I wouldn't have had time to raise them.

If I weren't married to Max and if I didn't need to support our family, I'm afraid that I could easily become a true hermit. I'd give anything to move to our cabin at Bell's Dell, surround myself with my books and animals and just allow God to fill me moment by moment.

So, I've quit my job. Within a few days I will spend time in my home alone during the day. I am finally able to cease activities that draw me into the busyness of life. I find that I have to quit nearly everything. Even as I quit my job, people wanted me to continue the activities at church. I know myself well enough - once I get involved in one activity, it leads to another and another and before I know it I'm doing as much as I have in the past.

STOP Diane! It's time to let goodness and mercy catch up.

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