Sitting Still - Moving Forward

Yup, I finally found time to be still and talk to God about all that has been going on between us the last few weeks.

With this quiet time, I began to get emotional about the losses I am facing. Daily interaction with friends, singing with the praise band, impacting a specific place in a positive way (my church).

You have to understand how much I rely on God to speak to me and guide me. I don't do much without assurances that He is guiding me. I know that for many people this makes complete sense and for others, it's much easier to question me about this than accept it. I'm fine with that either way. But, here it is. Peace comes when I trust God.

This morning as I was thinking through all of these losses, I began to understand what He has been saying to me more and more: "What you have experienced is nothing in comparison to what you will experience."

So often we try to replicate the good things of the past, to remind ourselves of the feelings and sensations surrounding those good things. We spend so much time with that we miss the excitement of new experiences.

This morning Max purchased a new mouse and mousepad for me. My mouse was working ok, but he knew that I was dealing with 'slowness of mouse' and that if I made a change I would be much happier. Oh my! I can't believe it. I didn't realize that I was crawling along with a muddy feeling mouse. I'm gliding around now ... what a joy!

As a Methodist pastor's daughter, I learned about change at an early age. Every 4-6 years we moved. We moved away from friends, from schools, from all that we were comfortable with. We would weep and grieve for the things that we were leaving behind, but I learned to look ahead with excitement. I would meet more people, make new friends, have chances available to me that weren't there in the past, yet have the foundation of all that I had learned in my past.

I'm really going to miss leading worship on Sunday mornings, being a part of a fellowship that was growing with the praise band. I'm going to miss hanging out with my friends every day. I'm going to miss the small groups that I was a part of. I'll probably get emotional about it every once in awhile.

I don't want to sit still when God says 'go.' I don't want to move when He says 'stop.' What I want to do is be sensitive to Him guiding me ... moment by moment.

I want to experience the fullness of a life well-lived in His will. Which means I don't try to return to the things of the past ... but look forward with excitement to where we go next.