15 Minutes Left

Ok ... it's 11:45 and I think we might make it through this day safely!

Today was my birthday. For the last 12 years, something 'bad' has happened around my birthday. Last year I was ready to give it up completely.

I'm old enough to be content with ignoring the significance of this date completely. There is no particular reason for me to celebrate a date that reminds me that age is creeping up on me. My friends insist that I celebrate the day and I do my best to ignore them.

The 'horror' of my birthday began September 8, 1995. Carol had scheduled her first gynecological exam with my doctor, a wonderful woman. She left work and we continued throughout the morning. I got a telephone call that morning from a completely freaked out sister. She was sobbing and nearly in hysterics. Something was terribly wrong. During her exam there was terrible pain and a lot of blood. They had scheduled her for an immediate ultrasound. I just left the shop and headed up to the doctor's office.

The ultrasound showed a mass in her abdomen - attached to her uterus. They couldn't tell her whether or not it was cancerous. We scheduled surgery. Within a few short weeks, Carol had surgery to remove a muskmelon sized fibroid tumor from her abdomen. No cancer - the fear passed.

September 8, 1996 came and while we were thankful for Carol's recovery and return to complete normalcy, we were waiting for a baby to be born to one of our employees. She came to work a little freaked out - she hadn't felt the baby move within her over the weekend. We sent her to the doctor immediately. The baby had died and the poor girl had to deliver the infant that day.

The next few years brought all sorts of trauma - mostly related to Insty-Prints. 2001 came and I thought it was going to be ok, but 3 days later, well ... we all know what happened that day. I don't know what it was about September, but things got insane and every year, there was something. Max was starting to worry for me.

Last year, Insty-Prints was closed on September 4th and I was out of work. My birthday wasn't much to celebrate - but my friends insisted. I lived through it.

Now, I know that this all sounds quite whiny. And I apologize. I suspect that the intensity of the issues that happened over the years was enhanced because I was concentrating on them - things that would generally be ignored were made much bigger.

This year, though, everyone was beginning to wonder about the day. 2 weeks ago Max's mom fell and cracked her skull. He got a call from his sister that if he ever wanted to see her alive again we had to get out there immediately. She was transferred last week from the assisted living center to a nursing home. She is confused, the doctors are concerned and the kids are worried.

We're heading to Ohio on Thursday. She's still alive and nothing traumatic has happened today. I really think that Max, Carol and my friends were praying for me to get through the day so that I would quit complaining about it!

The clock just chimed midnight. My birthday is over. Praise the Lord. Though the date on my birth certificate indicates that I've just aged another year, I don't feel any different. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to think about it. But, I can live through it. That's what happened today.

God's grace is amazing. I have made up a series of insane connections over the last 12 years. I do try to recognize my own insanity. And I am awfully glad that God forgives the craziness inside us!