Success

I struggle with this word ... a lot.

It all depends on how you measure success. And then, as I think about it some more, I wonder why it's so necessary for us to even measure success.

What are we trying to prove - and to whom?

In my concordance - the word doesn't exist in the New Testament. Jesus never spoke about competitive striving to be the very best in whatever you do. Wealth, popularity, fame ... all of these things seemed to be in direct opposition to His teachings.

Today's society / culture tells us that unless we are successful, unless we constantly are striving for the next step up the ladder, we are slackers. We can not break away from that!

I have been dealing with this in my mind for the last several months - and have not been able to break the desire to be successful.

For instance. I know that God has called me to study and to write. My greatest desire is to do what He calls me to do. Yet, I dream about publishing and becoming famous. He did NOT call me to those things. Oh, I can justify the dream by saying to myself things like, "more people will be touched by what He has taught me if I have greater exposure."

When we owned Insty-Prints, a lack of success meant failure. Even when working at the church, we were constantly driven to build greater programs, bring in more people ... in other words ... succeed at growing the institution.

Am I going to be ok with the fact that I don't make millions of dollars in the Christian publishing world, that I don't travel around the country presenting my studies to countless women and that my words may never be read by anyone other than my close friends and family?

You see ... I'm dealing with that. I know that I have to be ok with that. Because reality is harsher than my dreams.

Will that stop me from doing what God is calling me to do?

In a word ... no.