Sunday, March 22, 2009

All alone in a strange place

I know, it's the middle of the night again, but I was just lying in a strange bed in a motel in LeMars, Iowa with my dog curled up next to me and thinking about how she is perfectly fine in strange places because she is with me and Max. She has no fears as long as she has us near to protect her.

Then I began reflecting on a conversation I had with Max earlier today as we drove into Spencer. I'll be honest, those two years that I spent there were really difficult. I was 21 years old, this was my first real job and it was 6 1/2 hours away from everyone that I knew. I had no friends here, no family, no pet ... just me. As little as I remembered about how to get around in Spencer, I did remember the first time I drove up there - looking for an apartment with my parents. Dad had done some research (his friend was the senior pastor at the church where I would be working) and had some locations for us to check out.

I told Max that it had been really rough and honestly, I had hated that first year there. By my second year, I was making friends and had a couple of really close girlfriends and was enjoying things a bit more, but Mom called and asked me to help her start a business. I grabbed the opportunity to come back to my family and flew from that community.

Later on, though, as we were driving through various small communities, I commented to Max on how wonderful Iowa towns were and that I could see myself living in practically any of them ... as long as he was there.

I can't believe that I moved to Spencer alone - no friends, no family. I certainly wouldn't do that now! I love my friends and I love having my family close. But, I also know that Max is all I need to start over. (sorry guys ... hehe) I could do it again, if he were there. (no, there are no plans ... you aren't getting rid of me yet)

There are so many things that I do with confidence because I am safe with Max ... just like Leica is assured of her safety when she is with me (and him). There is a life that I live, though, because I have confidence in God. I couldn't do many of the things that I do ... live the life that I live ... if I wasn't fully assured of His presence. I just couldn't imagine a life like that!

I'm about to crawl back under the blankets with a VERY warm little tiny dachshund. She'll wriggle around until she's gotten herself tucked as close as possible to me and then sigh and fall asleep, completely safe and secure. Hmmm ... you know what that relationship is with the Father? El Shaddai.

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