Tuesday, March 31, 2009

When in our youth ...

I spent the evening with an old friend. It was incredible. We caught each other up on our lives over the last 30 years and enjoyed reminiscing about the fun we had in high school.

When he asked what had happened to the last 30 years, I had no answer. They've flown by. In my heart I'm still that young girl with lofty dreams for her future and a hope for accomplishing anything set before me. There was nothing that was impossible for me to achieve.

We can never return to those moments, to the innocence and freedom that we had. We lived in a little tiny world where we were very comfortable. Sigourney, Iowa was a small town - about 2300 people and we filled it with life. We filled it with our lives!

I loved my high school years. I never lacked something to do and had plenty of friends. I felt safe, I always knew that within a few houses there was someone that knew me and would take care of me if anything ever happened.

Friends moved in and out of the community, babies were born, family members died. Gossip was everywhere. Of course, everyone knew what was happening in that little town! It was frustrating. It could be spiteful and hateful and hurtful. People knew way too much about their neighbor's business and power struggles were as great there as on any international playing field.

I didn't get home very often. My family moved away after Carol graduated from high school and Dad was never one to look back. He knew that it was important for him to give the new pastor an opportunity to create relationships without the old pastor lurking at the back door. I don't think I realized how that impacted my relationships with friends and people I had considered family for the 9 years we lived there.

The girl that shows up in pictures from those days is very different than I am now. I kinda miss her sometimes. But, who she was formed who I am today. I wonder what she would have thought if she could see me. I think she would have wept for the losses and rejoiced in the joys. She might have encouraged me to be a little more frivolous and worry less about things. And then she would move forward doing all that she did, knowing that in the end ... it's life!

Live life with the moments you are given.


Cayla said...

You are wonderful, and so is this post. Thank you so much for this.
And that last line? Agreed, absolutely, yes.

Fran said...

I'm glad you night was filled with memories.......no one can take those away from any of us. Enjoy where you are now, it's exactly where God wants you to be.

I love you my friend!

Rebecca said...

If I saw that girl from the photos I would thank her... for being the kind of seed that the Diane that I know could spring from...

I would be that the reason you still view yourself as that optimistic young girl is because you have an eternal perspective... which is so wonderful about you!

So glad you had this night and this chance to remember the girl that was so you could appreciate the woman that is!!!